Hey world! So...I didn't come back on Sunday. Or Monday or Tuesday. But that's not my fault! Okay it's my fault...I feel like this paragraph is spent apologizing more than anything else...well, not anymore! I'm done apologizing! I'll blog when I blog, and that's that! Deal with it! Oh my goodness, that sounded so harsh, I'm so sorry.
So, a very long time ago, but we are getting closer to the present every day now, I finished a short book called Aftershock by Mark Walden. It's either book 6,7 or 8 in the H.I.V.E. (Higher Institute of Villainous Education) series, and I've had it on hold since August! But I finally read it, and now this Amazon link can make reading it possible for you, too. Snap, I dropped my squishy ball-thing. Anyways, I'm listening to something else now, so no testing of the audible. Wow, I haven't tested those in a while.
Summaryish: I'm not going to summarize the whole series here, that would take a long time. But if you like what you read here, you can of course go look up a series overview elsewhere. Perhaps give another blogger a pageview! Anyways. In his third year at H.I.V.E., Otto Malpense and co. are gearing up for the most looked forward to event of the year. No, not exams, but I can see why you may have thought that. They're getting ready for the field mission. 24 hours in a ruthless terrain with a skilled hunter on their heels...but things go terrible wrong as the former council members from G.L.O.V.E. plot their revenge against Dr. Nero....Don don dooon!
Review: I was really looking forward to this book because I have very pleasant memories of colorful explosions and gunfire...and I wasn't disappointed! There was plenty of action, and it was nicely balanced with calm interludes of suspense and subplot. But, as I've noticed with this entire series, it was really easy to just tune out and think about butterflies. Well, maybe not butterflies, but you get the point. It's almost as if some of the book is simply white noise...a background theme song accompanying my plans to take over the world...I mean, ahem, make tea.
Words to the Characters:
Otto: Jealousy is bad for me, stop being awesome.
Raven: Ooo, I know your history now! Mwahahaha! BLACKMAIL!
Okay, that's done. Maybe this will be the start of another marathon. I might even make it to four days this time. Bye now! See you next time for...uhm...yeah, let me get back to you on that one.
Xxxxxx X. Xxxxxx
Anonymous Book Reviewer.
Wednesday, April 30, 2014
Sunday, April 27, 2014
I'm Happy It's Not Just Me Falling Now.
Hey world! Three days was a pretty good streak, no? The problem is, I was reading all day Sunday and I pinky swear, blogging never once crossed my mind. And then of course it was Monday...But now I'm back after a week, and I have six books to review! I think I'm going to review either two or three of them today, and then we'll see what happens after that. Rest assured, they will all get reviewed.
So, longer ago than I'd like to admit, I finished this book called Things Fall Apart by Chinua Achebe. It is not part of a series, but it is what some people would call "a classic." I think it was written sometime about half way through the nineteen hundreds. I'm trying to hurry, because Titanic is playing in the background, so I'm not sampling the audible, but I will give you this Amazon link as a little "parting from this paragraph" present.
Summaryish: This book is all about the life and times of the Ibo clan in Nigeria, both before and after colonization took over and destroyed the culture forever. Specifically, it's about Okonkwo, a brave and fierce warrior consumed by the fear of being seen as lazy. And, as the title hints, things definitely fall apart. Short paragraph, but it's a short book, too.
Review: At first I was thinking 'Bleh, I don't like this style, nor is the story very interesting, when will it end?' But later, I really got in to it and learned to appreciate all that was going on. Further more, I discovered that the diction was quite nice too. Liking this book is just a matter of getting used to it, and once you do, you can delve deeper and figure out what exactly this book is trying to say, because it's definitely screaming something in your ear! Figuring out the message is half the fun of reading this book! Be warned - it's not an easy read, but it's a good one.
Words to the Characters:
Okonkwo: Dude, really, it's not the end of the world if for just one moment, you...oo! The steerage dance party scene is coming on! Gotta dance...
Ikemefuna: That was fun. Anywayyyyyys, that was really sad, I'm sorry.
Okay, see you later, I'll probably post after the sink ships. Bye for now!
Xxxxxx X. Xxxxxx
Anonymous Book Reviewer.
So, longer ago than I'd like to admit, I finished this book called Things Fall Apart by Chinua Achebe. It is not part of a series, but it is what some people would call "a classic." I think it was written sometime about half way through the nineteen hundreds. I'm trying to hurry, because Titanic is playing in the background, so I'm not sampling the audible, but I will give you this Amazon link as a little "parting from this paragraph" present.
Summaryish: This book is all about the life and times of the Ibo clan in Nigeria, both before and after colonization took over and destroyed the culture forever. Specifically, it's about Okonkwo, a brave and fierce warrior consumed by the fear of being seen as lazy. And, as the title hints, things definitely fall apart. Short paragraph, but it's a short book, too.
Review: At first I was thinking 'Bleh, I don't like this style, nor is the story very interesting, when will it end?' But later, I really got in to it and learned to appreciate all that was going on. Further more, I discovered that the diction was quite nice too. Liking this book is just a matter of getting used to it, and once you do, you can delve deeper and figure out what exactly this book is trying to say, because it's definitely screaming something in your ear! Figuring out the message is half the fun of reading this book! Be warned - it's not an easy read, but it's a good one.
Words to the Characters:
Okonkwo: Dude, really, it's not the end of the world if for just one moment, you...oo! The steerage dance party scene is coming on! Gotta dance...
Ikemefuna: That was fun. Anywayyyyyys, that was really sad, I'm sorry.
Okay, see you later, I'll probably post after the sink ships. Bye for now!
Xxxxxx X. Xxxxxx
Anonymous Book Reviewer.
Saturday, April 19, 2014
Sorry, Spellcheck, But That Word Actually Is Spelled Correctly.
Hey world! I almost forgot to write this...but then I remembered! We are now up to day three of the blog blitz! Woohoo! And three is a magic number, you know. I just realized that I say that a lot. I have an odd love of the number three and its many multiples...perhaps one of the reasons I love trilogies? But now I'm ready to review this book that took me sooo long to read!
So, it took me a while to finish Anathem by Neal Stephenson, but I did it! I wanted to get Cryptonomicon, but I couldn't find that one. So when I saw this book I thought I might as well split the difference and read something by the same author. This guy wrote Reamde which got glowing reviews on this blog sometime last year, maybe November. This book is not part of a series, but it is the third book over 930 pages to be reviewed by me! Accomplishment! And it only took me exactly two weeks. Hopefully it won't take two weeks for the Amazon link to load...
Summaryish: I'm going to start by saying that this is a different planet. Might as well just get that out in the open right off the bat. And on this planet, half of the world is modern and movey-forwardy, while the other half is a closed-off realm run by beautifully logical theorics. But big things are about to go down, and Fraa Erasmas is right smack in the middle of it.
Review: This book was mostly awesometastic! There were some boring parts where I felt like I was just reading a text book...but I still vaguely enjoyed those parts, too. Mr. Stephenson definitely unleashed his inner Vulcan for this book - logic, first contact, it was classic science fiction, and I loved it! It was a bit of a tough read, but I feel like a lot of the enjoyment is in the challenge. So, despite some over-lookable boring parts, this book was absolutely wonderful! Yay!
Words to the Characters:
Erasmas: Very noble. You have my 100% approval.
Arsibalt: You make me laugh!
Okie dokie, day three - check. See you tomorrow!
Xxxxxx X. Xxxxxx
Anonymous Book Reviewer.
So, it took me a while to finish Anathem by Neal Stephenson, but I did it! I wanted to get Cryptonomicon, but I couldn't find that one. So when I saw this book I thought I might as well split the difference and read something by the same author. This guy wrote Reamde which got glowing reviews on this blog sometime last year, maybe November. This book is not part of a series, but it is the third book over 930 pages to be reviewed by me! Accomplishment! And it only took me exactly two weeks. Hopefully it won't take two weeks for the Amazon link to load...
Summaryish: I'm going to start by saying that this is a different planet. Might as well just get that out in the open right off the bat. And on this planet, half of the world is modern and movey-forwardy, while the other half is a closed-off realm run by beautifully logical theorics. But big things are about to go down, and Fraa Erasmas is right smack in the middle of it.
Review: This book was mostly awesometastic! There were some boring parts where I felt like I was just reading a text book...but I still vaguely enjoyed those parts, too. Mr. Stephenson definitely unleashed his inner Vulcan for this book - logic, first contact, it was classic science fiction, and I loved it! It was a bit of a tough read, but I feel like a lot of the enjoyment is in the challenge. So, despite some over-lookable boring parts, this book was absolutely wonderful! Yay!
Words to the Characters:
Erasmas: Very noble. You have my 100% approval.
Arsibalt: You make me laugh!
Okie dokie, day three - check. See you tomorrow!
Xxxxxx X. Xxxxxx
Anonymous Book Reviewer.
Friday, April 18, 2014
It's More Like 4:30 Now.
Hey world! So far, I am keeping my promise of a blog blitz! But then again, it's only day two of, what? Five? I think so far it's five, because I finished a book last night, and then three days from now is plenty of time to finish the book I've just started, so maybe it will even be six. Or is that seven? Mental counting....Yeah, it's six now. But maybe it will be seven - which is a whole week! Wouldn't that be fun!? Let's try that! Okay, blogging now!
So, I've already returned this book called 3:59 by Gretchen McNeil, but that doesn't mean I don't remember it. I'm not sure if it's a series or not, but I'm leaning more towards not due to lack of marketing of that little fact. Or maybe it's because on her website it says stuff about debuting her first series sometime this year...sooo...yeah. I've got this lovely Amazon link here for you! Also, the audible is surprisingly good. I'm picky about my audibles...okay, I don't listen to audibles, just the samples on Amazon, but I am particular about those. Maybe I should be an audible recorder-person. Could be fun.
Summaryish: Josie's life totally flips upside down when after inexplicable events, she becomes connected to her doppleganger, Jo, in a parallel universe. Every 12 hours at, you guessed it, 3:59 for a single minute, she can see the life she's always wanted on the other side of a mirror. So when she finds out that Jo also wants to switch lives, they plan that for 24 hours, they will masquerade as each other. But when Josie is ready to leave...Jo refuses to come back. Don don dooooooon!
Review: I've heard a lot about Ms. McNeil being a "master of suspense" but what some people see as suspense building snippets of flawless foreshadowing, I see more as annoying exposition. Which lasted half the book. Not fun. So, for the first half of the book, I was bored and disinterested and mentally coaching the story to pick up a bit and get on with it. Which it finally did. Half way through the book. And by halfway, people have usually formed their opinions, so that's why this book isn't getting a, shall we say, glowing review. The final half of the book was fast, intense, and things finally got good...But the damage had already been done by then. So while I enjoyed the last half of the book, the first half forever burned boredom into my brain, and scars like that don't just go away with time and Mederma. If you're willing to suffer through the first half, the last half will be rewarding. Kind of like surviving a war to get one of those nifty medals.
Words to the Characters:
Josie: Seriously? You didn't totally see that coming?
Nick: Did you know that Nick is a very common name? I can't even count how many books I've read with Nicks as main characters - and you're in here twice!
Okay, Friday - check. We'll see if I come back tomorrow for that 900-pager you've been hearing so much about!
Xxxxxx X. Xxxxxx
Anonymous Book Reviewer.
So, I've already returned this book called 3:59 by Gretchen McNeil, but that doesn't mean I don't remember it. I'm not sure if it's a series or not, but I'm leaning more towards not due to lack of marketing of that little fact. Or maybe it's because on her website it says stuff about debuting her first series sometime this year...sooo...yeah. I've got this lovely Amazon link here for you! Also, the audible is surprisingly good. I'm picky about my audibles...okay, I don't listen to audibles, just the samples on Amazon, but I am particular about those. Maybe I should be an audible recorder-person. Could be fun.
Summaryish: Josie's life totally flips upside down when after inexplicable events, she becomes connected to her doppleganger, Jo, in a parallel universe. Every 12 hours at, you guessed it, 3:59 for a single minute, she can see the life she's always wanted on the other side of a mirror. So when she finds out that Jo also wants to switch lives, they plan that for 24 hours, they will masquerade as each other. But when Josie is ready to leave...Jo refuses to come back. Don don dooooooon!
Review: I've heard a lot about Ms. McNeil being a "master of suspense" but what some people see as suspense building snippets of flawless foreshadowing, I see more as annoying exposition. Which lasted half the book. Not fun. So, for the first half of the book, I was bored and disinterested and mentally coaching the story to pick up a bit and get on with it. Which it finally did. Half way through the book. And by halfway, people have usually formed their opinions, so that's why this book isn't getting a, shall we say, glowing review. The final half of the book was fast, intense, and things finally got good...But the damage had already been done by then. So while I enjoyed the last half of the book, the first half forever burned boredom into my brain, and scars like that don't just go away with time and Mederma. If you're willing to suffer through the first half, the last half will be rewarding. Kind of like surviving a war to get one of those nifty medals.
Words to the Characters:
Josie: Seriously? You didn't totally see that coming?
Nick: Did you know that Nick is a very common name? I can't even count how many books I've read with Nicks as main characters - and you're in here twice!
Okay, Friday - check. We'll see if I come back tomorrow for that 900-pager you've been hearing so much about!
Xxxxxx X. Xxxxxx
Anonymous Book Reviewer.
Thursday, April 17, 2014
I Told You I'm An Alien, Right?
Hey world! So I finally finished that 932 page book yesterday, and the funny thing is, I still had two books before that to review, and then a bonus book kind of just snuck in so...Four books, woo! I'm only going to review one right now, though, because I really want to read. But I am going to try my very hardest to post four days in a row! Won't that be fun? We'll see how far I get. And by then, I'll probably have another two books to review, so maybe it can be six days in a row. I don't know though, we'll just have to see what happens!
So, a really long time ago I finished this book called Inhuman by Kat Falls. It's book one in the Fetch series! Actually, it's not a series, it's a trilogy - there's a humongous difference, you know. I'd tell you about the audible at the Amazon link, but there isn't one. So instead, I'll regale you with a song...I'm kidding! You can't hear me, I'm just words on a screen to you! There are so many sides to my hexaflexagon, it's hypnotic. You probably don't know what a hexaflexagon is, though, few people do, so I'll just tell you something else mathematic because I'm in a numbery kind of mood today. The diagonals on Pascal's Triangle are...wait for it...Fibonacci numbers!!! Didn't that just blow your mind!?!?
Summaryish: In this future (because of course it's a future, what else would I be reading?), a killer virus that changes an infected person's DNA to that of the animal that bit them has broken out - totally desecrating everything to the east of the Mississippi River. A huge wall was built to protect those that are uninfected. But when someone very dear to Lane, our protagonist, goes missing, she must risk her life by crossing the wall to find him.
Review: This was absolutely fabulous! The very beginning, like, the first 10-15 pages or so, were a little...beginning-y, but that really couldn't be helped. Other than that, I have absolutely no complaints! Full of action, suspense, both lovable and loathable characters, twists that keep you guessing, and plenty of explosions that kept even me happy - you're sure to love this book! A little warning though: there are a few parts that are a bit...graphic. The squeamish need not apply. But I love-love-loved this book, and I absolutely cannot wait until the next one (which comes out hopefully soon! Checking....September. That's far away.)
Words to the Characters:
Lane: For some reason, I usually end up not liking female narrators because they always seem too emotional and kind of bratty sometimes, but I like you, let's be friends!
Rafe: I figured out long before Lane did. And by the way, I pronounce it Rafee, is that right?
Okay, see you tomorrow for some numbers!
Xxxxxx X. Xxxxxx
Anonymous Book Reviewer.
So, a really long time ago I finished this book called Inhuman by Kat Falls. It's book one in the Fetch series! Actually, it's not a series, it's a trilogy - there's a humongous difference, you know. I'd tell you about the audible at the Amazon link, but there isn't one. So instead, I'll regale you with a song...I'm kidding! You can't hear me, I'm just words on a screen to you! There are so many sides to my hexaflexagon, it's hypnotic. You probably don't know what a hexaflexagon is, though, few people do, so I'll just tell you something else mathematic because I'm in a numbery kind of mood today. The diagonals on Pascal's Triangle are...wait for it...Fibonacci numbers!!! Didn't that just blow your mind!?!?
Summaryish: In this future (because of course it's a future, what else would I be reading?), a killer virus that changes an infected person's DNA to that of the animal that bit them has broken out - totally desecrating everything to the east of the Mississippi River. A huge wall was built to protect those that are uninfected. But when someone very dear to Lane, our protagonist, goes missing, she must risk her life by crossing the wall to find him.
Review: This was absolutely fabulous! The very beginning, like, the first 10-15 pages or so, were a little...beginning-y, but that really couldn't be helped. Other than that, I have absolutely no complaints! Full of action, suspense, both lovable and loathable characters, twists that keep you guessing, and plenty of explosions that kept even me happy - you're sure to love this book! A little warning though: there are a few parts that are a bit...graphic. The squeamish need not apply. But I love-love-loved this book, and I absolutely cannot wait until the next one (which comes out hopefully soon! Checking....September. That's far away.)
Words to the Characters:
Lane: For some reason, I usually end up not liking female narrators because they always seem too emotional and kind of bratty sometimes, but I like you, let's be friends!
Rafe: I figured out long before Lane did. And by the way, I pronounce it Rafee, is that right?
Okay, see you tomorrow for some numbers!
Xxxxxx X. Xxxxxx
Anonymous Book Reviewer.
Wednesday, April 9, 2014
Who Wants To Go Cow Tipping?
Hey world! So...it's definitely not the day I said it was going to be when I was talking about reviewing this book...a week and a half ago. But I have a reason, first of all I was busy, and then I forgot, and then I wanted to read, but more than that, I'm reading a 932 page book, and I'm just over half way done, so I thought it would be a good idea to stretch my reviews out a little. So I'll just do this one today, and later the other two I have lined up. Pretty sad, because I'm returning them today! Yikes! Review time!
So, longer ago than it should have been, I finished this book called Going Bovine by Libba Bray. It is not a series, but it is 5:27, and I have to leave soon, so I'll finish this post tomorrow. So now it's today instead of yesterday, and I just received amazing news! I won a Jessica Shirvington give away! I'm getting a free signed book! Isn't that wonderful? It will be my first signed book ever! I am sooo excited! About the book and this Amazon link! Not a very good audible, though.
Summaryish: So, Cameron is your average high school student...until he finds out he has mad cow disease. After that, and a mysterious visit from a punk-rock angel named Dulcie, he sets out on a crazy road trip with a death-obsessed dwarf and involving a smoothie-drinking happy cult, should-be-dead jazz stars and much more, in search for a cure. Wow, I sounded a lot like the jacket flap, there!
Review: This book was fantastic! It made me laugh, it made me cry...okay it didn't make me cry, but it definitely made me laugh! I loved all the craziness everywhere. It was like reading the inside of my brain, which, while organized, is still kind of wacky, and even I know it. It was fast and awesome, but even more than that - it was meaningful. But not an outright kind of meanigful. It's a sort of meaningful that you get on such a deep level that you can't explain. If not for the bad words, it so would have been a Wow. Just Wow. Sadly, there were bad words, and therefore it isn't.
Words to the Characters:
Dulcie: You're how I imagine all angels are.
Cameron: I knew it would end like that...But for some reason, it isn't disappointing.
Okay, see you next time I decide to post with something I'll probably remember later.
Xxxxxx X. Xxxxxx
Anonymous Book Reviewer.
So, longer ago than it should have been, I finished this book called Going Bovine by Libba Bray. It is not a series, but it is 5:27, and I have to leave soon, so I'll finish this post tomorrow. So now it's today instead of yesterday, and I just received amazing news! I won a Jessica Shirvington give away! I'm getting a free signed book! Isn't that wonderful? It will be my first signed book ever! I am sooo excited! About the book and this Amazon link! Not a very good audible, though.
Summaryish: So, Cameron is your average high school student...until he finds out he has mad cow disease. After that, and a mysterious visit from a punk-rock angel named Dulcie, he sets out on a crazy road trip with a death-obsessed dwarf and involving a smoothie-drinking happy cult, should-be-dead jazz stars and much more, in search for a cure. Wow, I sounded a lot like the jacket flap, there!
Review: This book was fantastic! It made me laugh, it made me cry...okay it didn't make me cry, but it definitely made me laugh! I loved all the craziness everywhere. It was like reading the inside of my brain, which, while organized, is still kind of wacky, and even I know it. It was fast and awesome, but even more than that - it was meaningful. But not an outright kind of meanigful. It's a sort of meaningful that you get on such a deep level that you can't explain. If not for the bad words, it so would have been a Wow. Just Wow. Sadly, there were bad words, and therefore it isn't.
Words to the Characters:
Dulcie: You're how I imagine all angels are.
Cameron: I knew it would end like that...But for some reason, it isn't disappointing.
Okay, see you next time I decide to post with something I'll probably remember later.
Xxxxxx X. Xxxxxx
Anonymous Book Reviewer.
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