Hey world!!! Wow, has it been a while or what? Well, the good news is that I have two books to review today!! And the one after this one is going to be very special indeed! But we'll jump through that wormhole when we get there. Now, we're going to be talking about a book! Huzzah!
So, I just finished this book called The Sin Eater by Francine Rivers. Most likely not part of a series since it ended like 100 years after it began and it ended with a whole...well I guess I can't tell you, can I? Oh well. Anyways, here's something cool! It was made into a movie! Here's the trailer on YouTube! And last but not least, the Amazon link. Wow! What a link-y paragraph!
Summaryish: This book is all about this girl, Cadi Forbes, and how she feels guilty all the time for something she did, but I can't tell you what. Anyways, so it's the 1850's, and when somebody dies an outcast called the Sin Eater comes and eats their sins so they can go to heaven. So Cadi sets out on a quest to find him so that maybe he can eat her sins and relieve her of her awful guilt. The End.
Review: At first, I wanted to cry because then my tears would obscure the pages and I wouldn't have to read anymore, it was so boring. I was all upset because I didn't want to read a bad book, and I was going to the library tomorrow and bad books take longer to read and I wouldn't be able to start my new books for a while. But then it got good. And I was sad at 11:22 when it was lights out time. It didn't have explosions, no aliens, no robots, no electricity. But it was still good!
Words to the Characters:
Cadi: Cay-dee or CAH-dee? I was thinking CAH-dee.
Fagan: Your daddy is kind of mean. But you're nice, so that's good.
Okay, this post is over. I have to put my laundry away and read a book, so I'll post again really super later, okay? Bye!
Xxxxxx X. Xxxxxx
Anonymous Book Reviewer.
Tuesday, July 30, 2013
Friday, July 26, 2013
Open The Door, Get On The Floor, Everybody Walk The Dinosaur!
Hey world! It's me again! Back from the limbo between posts! Right about now you may be asking what this post is going to be about. So, even if you aren't asking that, I'm going to answer. I'm writing about books. Especially the one I just finished. Double especially the one I'll be naming in three...two...one. Now.
So, ten minutes ago (literally!), I finished this book called Tim, Defender of the Earth by Sam Enthoven, who is a British author! Three cheers for England! Anyways, as far as I know, it's not a series. Just phase two in Mr. Enthoven's master plan to take over the world one thriller at a time. Well, he's got some competition, because I'm taking over the world one Amazon link at a time. There are also some other parts of the plan that are, sadly, classified, and sharing them with you could get me arrested.
Summaryish: This book is all about this guy...or actually giant Tyrannosaur-like monster beast, who is the Defender of the Earth. So, when a mad scientist takes his nanobot experiments to the extreme, Tim (the kindly monster) has to stop him, with the help of two kids One of whom happens to be the mad scientist's daughter! Ah! Okay, nothing more to summaryishize.
Review: Okie dokie, this book was last in my pile for a reason: I thought I wasn't going to like it much, but it looked kind of fun. Key word: Thought. I actually really loved this book! It was mysterious, suspenseful, actiony, and who doesn't love dinosaurs using Big Ben as a spear as he fights a cloud of microscopic robots?I love it when that happens! Although it is getting a little old...That was me attempting humor, I've actually never seen it before this. But it sure was fun to watch!
Words to the Characters:
Tim: You're really nice for a giant mutant monster.
Chris: If you don't want it, I'll take it!
Okay, post over. This was my last book, so I don't know what's coming next or when! Tootaloo!
Xxxxxx X. Xxxxxx
Anonymous Book Reviewer.
So, ten minutes ago (literally!), I finished this book called Tim, Defender of the Earth by Sam Enthoven, who is a British author! Three cheers for England! Anyways, as far as I know, it's not a series. Just phase two in Mr. Enthoven's master plan to take over the world one thriller at a time. Well, he's got some competition, because I'm taking over the world one Amazon link at a time. There are also some other parts of the plan that are, sadly, classified, and sharing them with you could get me arrested.
Summaryish: This book is all about this guy...or actually giant Tyrannosaur-like monster beast, who is the Defender of the Earth. So, when a mad scientist takes his nanobot experiments to the extreme, Tim (the kindly monster) has to stop him, with the help of two kids One of whom happens to be the mad scientist's daughter! Ah! Okay, nothing more to summaryishize.
Review: Okie dokie, this book was last in my pile for a reason: I thought I wasn't going to like it much, but it looked kind of fun. Key word: Thought. I actually really loved this book! It was mysterious, suspenseful, actiony, and who doesn't love dinosaurs using Big Ben as a spear as he fights a cloud of microscopic robots?I love it when that happens! Although it is getting a little old...That was me attempting humor, I've actually never seen it before this. But it sure was fun to watch!
Words to the Characters:
Tim: You're really nice for a giant mutant monster.
Chris: If you don't want it, I'll take it!
Okay, post over. This was my last book, so I don't know what's coming next or when! Tootaloo!
Xxxxxx X. Xxxxxx
Anonymous Book Reviewer.
Wednesday, July 24, 2013
More Than A Fraction Of Crazy Ideas
Hey world!!! I told you it would be a while! Or has it only been four days? Well, four days is still a while. But why am I talking about time? It's irrelevant. Especially the past! So instead let's talk about the present. And by that of course I mean the book I am presently reviewing!
So, earlier today I finished this book called A Fraction of the Whole by Steve Toltz. He's Australian, so this book is extra cool because I can read it with an accent! Okay, are you sitting down, because I have to tell you some depressing news. Ready? Are you sure? Are you positive? Okay, here it is: It's not a series. But the good news is, here's the Amazon link!
Summaryish: This book is all about this guy, whose father is insane and whose uncle is an infamous criminal. So, Jasper, the guy I was talking about earlier, struggles not to follow in his father's or uncle's footsteps. In fact, he strives to be their mirror opposites. But, it's pretty hard not to be at least a little insane when your father is hanging curtains on the bathroom mirrors. I know it sounds kind of boring, but it's actually hilarious.
Review: So far, this is a really short post. But maybe I can change that in this paragraph. I really super loved this book! It was funny and philosophical, asinine and in some moments sane. The only thing that disappointed me were all the bad words. I mean, sheesh, is it so hard to say snap? Or oh my goodness gracious? But, aside from that, this book was fantabulicious! I liked how inside the chapters were sub-chapters. I only ever see that in books designed to look like diaries. Hurray for this book! Review over.
Words to the Characters:
Towering Inferno: Did you know your actual name is never mentioned? Mysterious.
Jasper: If I were you, I would cut your daddy a little more slack. It's not his fault he's logged time in a mental hospital.
Martin: We have a lot in common.
Okay, that's all for today. I would like to return soon, but since I'm starting the last book in my pile and no plans to visit the library, I have to slow down so I don't go bookless.
Xxxxxx X. Xxxxxx
Anonymous Book Reviewer.
So, earlier today I finished this book called A Fraction of the Whole by Steve Toltz. He's Australian, so this book is extra cool because I can read it with an accent! Okay, are you sitting down, because I have to tell you some depressing news. Ready? Are you sure? Are you positive? Okay, here it is: It's not a series. But the good news is, here's the Amazon link!
Summaryish: This book is all about this guy, whose father is insane and whose uncle is an infamous criminal. So, Jasper, the guy I was talking about earlier, struggles not to follow in his father's or uncle's footsteps. In fact, he strives to be their mirror opposites. But, it's pretty hard not to be at least a little insane when your father is hanging curtains on the bathroom mirrors. I know it sounds kind of boring, but it's actually hilarious.
Review: So far, this is a really short post. But maybe I can change that in this paragraph. I really super loved this book! It was funny and philosophical, asinine and in some moments sane. The only thing that disappointed me were all the bad words. I mean, sheesh, is it so hard to say snap? Or oh my goodness gracious? But, aside from that, this book was fantabulicious! I liked how inside the chapters were sub-chapters. I only ever see that in books designed to look like diaries. Hurray for this book! Review over.
Words to the Characters:
Towering Inferno: Did you know your actual name is never mentioned? Mysterious.
Jasper: If I were you, I would cut your daddy a little more slack. It's not his fault he's logged time in a mental hospital.
Martin: We have a lot in common.
Okay, that's all for today. I would like to return soon, but since I'm starting the last book in my pile and no plans to visit the library, I have to slow down so I don't go bookless.
Xxxxxx X. Xxxxxx
Anonymous Book Reviewer.
Saturday, July 20, 2013
Meow!
Hey world! So, as it turns out, I am blogging today! Making it the sixth day in a row! But I am extra super positive that I probably won't be blogging tomorrow. But you can come back anyway, I won't mind. In fact, I would like that very much! This paragraph has gone on long enough, time to talk about the book!
So, I just finished this book called The Cat Who Dropped a Bombshell by Lilian Jackson Braun, the crazy cat lady! I actually don't know if she has cats or not, but writing a whole series, The Cat Who series, qualifies as crazy cat lady to me! But there's nothing wrong with crazy cat ladies, my fantastic aunt happens to be one. But the good thing about this series is that you don't have to read it in any particular order. It is what I like to call a standalone series. For this one, you can click here for the Amazon link.
Summaryish: This is going to be one tough summaryish. Not because a lot was going on, but because so little was going on, I could hardly recognize it as a plot. Just something about a famous cat, Koko, developing a habit of jumping from balconies onto potential murderer's heads. And then there are murders. That's it. Short paragraph.
Review: One word: Boring. Okay, I have a few more words than that. It just felt like an endless parade of phone calls and dinner conversations talking about current events. It was hard to get involved in the story when I felt like the actual conflict was just a random remark to pass the time between the entree and dessert. I can see Roland Smith rocking a book like this, but written as it was, it just wasn't for me. But, since I like to look on the bright side, if you ever need a nice little wind-down story at the end of a particularly stressful day, you can read this book and not have to worry about a thing!
Words to the Characters:
Koko: The death howl is kind of scary. Nightmares!!! Kidding!
Yum Yum: Why aren't you mysterious like Koko? It's the chair isn't it?
Okay, that's it for today, and most likely tomorrow as well. In fact, I might not see you for a while considering the next novel on my list is over 500 pages! Bye!
Xxxxxx X. Xxxxxx
Anonymous Book Reviewer.
So, I just finished this book called The Cat Who Dropped a Bombshell by Lilian Jackson Braun, the crazy cat lady! I actually don't know if she has cats or not, but writing a whole series, The Cat Who series, qualifies as crazy cat lady to me! But there's nothing wrong with crazy cat ladies, my fantastic aunt happens to be one. But the good thing about this series is that you don't have to read it in any particular order. It is what I like to call a standalone series. For this one, you can click here for the Amazon link.
Summaryish: This is going to be one tough summaryish. Not because a lot was going on, but because so little was going on, I could hardly recognize it as a plot. Just something about a famous cat, Koko, developing a habit of jumping from balconies onto potential murderer's heads. And then there are murders. That's it. Short paragraph.
Review: One word: Boring. Okay, I have a few more words than that. It just felt like an endless parade of phone calls and dinner conversations talking about current events. It was hard to get involved in the story when I felt like the actual conflict was just a random remark to pass the time between the entree and dessert. I can see Roland Smith rocking a book like this, but written as it was, it just wasn't for me. But, since I like to look on the bright side, if you ever need a nice little wind-down story at the end of a particularly stressful day, you can read this book and not have to worry about a thing!
Words to the Characters:
Koko: The death howl is kind of scary. Nightmares!!! Kidding!
Yum Yum: Why aren't you mysterious like Koko? It's the chair isn't it?
Okay, that's it for today, and most likely tomorrow as well. In fact, I might not see you for a while considering the next novel on my list is over 500 pages! Bye!
Xxxxxx X. Xxxxxx
Anonymous Book Reviewer.
Friday, July 19, 2013
All I Have Is Orange Juice!!!! The Tragedy!
Hey world! That's right! Fifth day in a row blogging! The roll continues. But I'm pretty sure this will be the last day of the aforementioned roll. Oh well, life just happens that way. Wow. I'm listening to some Rachmaninoff today, and it's really super great! But this is not a music review blog, it is a book review blog, so let's prove that!
So, I just finished this book called Lemonade Mouth Puckers Up by Mark Peter Hughes. It's the sequel to Lemonade Mouth, which was made into a Disney movie! Maybe they'll make Puckers Up into a movie too! I read the first book BB, so no link to a previous review today. But, fear not, you can still have the Amazon link. Hm. This paragraph makes me want to listen to Lemonade Mouth songs, but then I'd have to pause this beautiful Rachmaninoff song, and I don't really want to do that. Maybe later.
Summaryish: Hey, I just realized my stickers smell like pineapple! Cool! But on to more serious matters, like summaryishes. This book is all about the mysterious and elusive question, what happened next? For Lemonade Mouth, the answer is a record deal. But what happens when Lemonade Mouth kicks up another revolution? Will this one take them too far and cost them their fame? That's right, I used suspense inducing questions. Bam!
Review: I like how this book can make me laugh, make me think, AND cause me to flip pages like a maniac because of the mind-blowing suspense. There was so much great foreshadowing that I just loved! There was drama, laughter, heart-ache, water fights. Everything! And even though it wasn't science fiction, it was still a great read that I'll probably remember for a long time to come, which is a good thing. So, all-in-all, it's a great book! But, you know, a few explosions wouldn't hurt anything.
Words to the Characters:
Stella: I think I liked the green hair better.
Olivia: Why don't you just close your eyes? That's what I would do, except I don't have stage fright.
Okie dokie, I think that's all I'm going to say today. I think it's safe to say my roll is over, but check back tomorrow...just in case. Okay, you caught me, I just want the page views!
Xxxxxx X. Xxxxxx
Anonymous Book Reviewer.
So, I just finished this book called Lemonade Mouth Puckers Up by Mark Peter Hughes. It's the sequel to Lemonade Mouth, which was made into a Disney movie! Maybe they'll make Puckers Up into a movie too! I read the first book BB, so no link to a previous review today. But, fear not, you can still have the Amazon link. Hm. This paragraph makes me want to listen to Lemonade Mouth songs, but then I'd have to pause this beautiful Rachmaninoff song, and I don't really want to do that. Maybe later.
Summaryish: Hey, I just realized my stickers smell like pineapple! Cool! But on to more serious matters, like summaryishes. This book is all about the mysterious and elusive question, what happened next? For Lemonade Mouth, the answer is a record deal. But what happens when Lemonade Mouth kicks up another revolution? Will this one take them too far and cost them their fame? That's right, I used suspense inducing questions. Bam!
Review: I like how this book can make me laugh, make me think, AND cause me to flip pages like a maniac because of the mind-blowing suspense. There was so much great foreshadowing that I just loved! There was drama, laughter, heart-ache, water fights. Everything! And even though it wasn't science fiction, it was still a great read that I'll probably remember for a long time to come, which is a good thing. So, all-in-all, it's a great book! But, you know, a few explosions wouldn't hurt anything.
Words to the Characters:
Stella: I think I liked the green hair better.
Olivia: Why don't you just close your eyes? That's what I would do, except I don't have stage fright.
Okie dokie, I think that's all I'm going to say today. I think it's safe to say my roll is over, but check back tomorrow...just in case. Okay, you caught me, I just want the page views!
Xxxxxx X. Xxxxxx
Anonymous Book Reviewer.
Thursday, July 18, 2013
Is It Just Me, Or Are Abolitionists Really Cool?
Hey world! Forth day in a row blogging! Am I on a roll or what? The roll is probably coming to an anticlimactic stop at the bottom of a hill today because I've moved from the one-dayers into the two-dayers. Usually when I'm organizing my books, I don't worry about size at all. I just put the ones for which I am most excited first. And since I'm excited about them, they go quicker! But now, I realize that because of that technique, they're kind of organized by how long they will take too. And then of course there's the last book which is just the one with the most surface area, because it has to support all the other books in the pile. So that one doesn't count. But other than that, it's actually kind of weird how all my books fall into an unplanned order of how long they're going to take. Well, enough contemplating my organization habits, let's talk about the book!
So, sometime around 11:22 last night I finished a book called The Trap Door by Lisa Mcmann. It is book three of the Infinity Ring series, book two I reviewed here. I don't think I reviewed the first book anywhere but in my mind and reading log. But anyways, there is one more thing this paragraph and I would like to give you, and that is the Amazon link.
Summaryish: Usually I'm good at this (not), but today it feels especially hard to come up with a summary. Or even a summaryish! Let's just say, our ninth favorite time-travelers in recent history have landed in 1850, America, in the years leading up to the civil war. Their mission, should they choose to accept it, is to find and fix the Break that made the Underground Railroad nondescript, i. e. a complete failure. But, when Riq is mistaken as a runaway slave, things definitely get complicated.
Review: I give this book a solid so-so, but leaning towards the left side of that word, which is the good side. It had plenty going on in it, and it was even presented well! But there was just something about it that I didn't exactly enjoy. Don't ask me what that was, I'm not an experienced enough reviewer to detect AND name such small and obscure feelings that bounce around just under my consciousness. Okay, is it just me, or was that sentence pretty awesome? Sometimes these things just come to me. Maybe it was just the way things seemed to work out so quickly. It's like, one moment they're puzzling over clues, and the next, it's all clicking into place. Not much suspense. I think that might have been it.
Words to the Characters:
Dak: Why can't I think
Sera: Of anything to say
Riq: To this book's characters?
Okay, post over. There is a slim chance I will come back tomorrow for the fifth review in a row, but we'll leave the future where it belongs: in the past with my other time machine. Bye!
Xxxxxx X. Xxxxxx
Anonymous Book Reviewer.
So, sometime around 11:22 last night I finished a book called The Trap Door by Lisa Mcmann. It is book three of the Infinity Ring series, book two I reviewed here. I don't think I reviewed the first book anywhere but in my mind and reading log. But anyways, there is one more thing this paragraph and I would like to give you, and that is the Amazon link.
Summaryish: Usually I'm good at this (not), but today it feels especially hard to come up with a summary. Or even a summaryish! Let's just say, our ninth favorite time-travelers in recent history have landed in 1850, America, in the years leading up to the civil war. Their mission, should they choose to accept it, is to find and fix the Break that made the Underground Railroad nondescript, i. e. a complete failure. But, when Riq is mistaken as a runaway slave, things definitely get complicated.
Review: I give this book a solid so-so, but leaning towards the left side of that word, which is the good side. It had plenty going on in it, and it was even presented well! But there was just something about it that I didn't exactly enjoy. Don't ask me what that was, I'm not an experienced enough reviewer to detect AND name such small and obscure feelings that bounce around just under my consciousness. Okay, is it just me, or was that sentence pretty awesome? Sometimes these things just come to me. Maybe it was just the way things seemed to work out so quickly. It's like, one moment they're puzzling over clues, and the next, it's all clicking into place. Not much suspense. I think that might have been it.
Words to the Characters:
Dak: Why can't I think
Sera: Of anything to say
Riq: To this book's characters?
Okay, post over. There is a slim chance I will come back tomorrow for the fifth review in a row, but we'll leave the future where it belongs: in the past with my other time machine. Bye!
Xxxxxx X. Xxxxxx
Anonymous Book Reviewer.
Wednesday, July 17, 2013
My Hideout Was Dismantled Due To Injury To Prevent A Law Suit.
Hey world! Another day, another book! Hey wait a minute...I have blogged three days in a row! Wow! And there's the possibility that I could blog again tomorrow! Books these days, always so short. But after the book that's up next, I'll be getting into the two-dayers. So it looks like four days in a row will be my record. If I blog tomorrow. Ooh, now it's suspenseful.
So, earlier this morning, and by that I mean 12:34 AM, I finished this book called Hideout by Gordon Korman. I've talked a lot about Gordon Korman, but I don't think I've ever actually reviewed any of his books. Well, that's all about to change! But before that change, please enjoy this Amazon link! Also before that change, let me announce that this is book five of the ever-increasing Swindle series! Woo!
Summaryish: I just realized I'm one of those people who wouldn't hurt a fly. Literally. I just opened the door and coaxed a fly to leave. But those two sentences and one fragment were just a diversion, so that I could take the time to plan how to summaryishize this. But I did actually let a fly out. Anyways: So in this book, Swindle returns. Don don doooon. He returns to reclaim Luthor the Doberman from Savannah the animal lover, so Griffin, The Man With the Plan, decides that the only way to keep Luthor out of Swindle grubby little mitts is to hide him at the three sleep-away camps he and the rest of his team are staying at for the summer. But Swindle doesn't give up that easily. Ooh, ominous.
Review: I really like this series! But, I have to say it, this one wasn't as, what's the word? Crime-y as the other ones. Neither was the one before this. I mean, what happened to police-ankle-bracelet-tracker-wearing Griffin. I miss that guy, because I like reading about people breaking and entering. It keeps me from going out and doing it myself. Not that this book wasn't good, I mean, it had breaking and entering too! Just not as much. It was more like running from the bad guys. I also liked the humor that was scattered throughout the entire thing! Yay! So, my official opinion is that I liked it!
Words to the Characters:
Griffin: As I believe I have said before, I miss the police-ankle-bracelet-tracker-wearing Man With the Plan of novels past.
Ferret Face: You're not very loyal, are you?
Okie dokie, that's my review!! I hope you really-super-de-duper enjoyed it! See you tomorrow(maybe)! Bye!
Xxxxxx X. Xxxxxx
Anonymous Book Reviewer.
So, earlier this morning, and by that I mean 12:34 AM, I finished this book called Hideout by Gordon Korman. I've talked a lot about Gordon Korman, but I don't think I've ever actually reviewed any of his books. Well, that's all about to change! But before that change, please enjoy this Amazon link! Also before that change, let me announce that this is book five of the ever-increasing Swindle series! Woo!
Summaryish: I just realized I'm one of those people who wouldn't hurt a fly. Literally. I just opened the door and coaxed a fly to leave. But those two sentences and one fragment were just a diversion, so that I could take the time to plan how to summaryishize this. But I did actually let a fly out. Anyways: So in this book, Swindle returns. Don don doooon. He returns to reclaim Luthor the Doberman from Savannah the animal lover, so Griffin, The Man With the Plan, decides that the only way to keep Luthor out of Swindle grubby little mitts is to hide him at the three sleep-away camps he and the rest of his team are staying at for the summer. But Swindle doesn't give up that easily. Ooh, ominous.
Review: I really like this series! But, I have to say it, this one wasn't as, what's the word? Crime-y as the other ones. Neither was the one before this. I mean, what happened to police-ankle-bracelet-tracker-wearing Griffin. I miss that guy, because I like reading about people breaking and entering. It keeps me from going out and doing it myself. Not that this book wasn't good, I mean, it had breaking and entering too! Just not as much. It was more like running from the bad guys. I also liked the humor that was scattered throughout the entire thing! Yay! So, my official opinion is that I liked it!
Words to the Characters:
Griffin: As I believe I have said before, I miss the police-ankle-bracelet-tracker-wearing Man With the Plan of novels past.
Ferret Face: You're not very loyal, are you?
Okie dokie, that's my review!! I hope you really-super-de-duper enjoyed it! See you tomorrow(maybe)! Bye!
Xxxxxx X. Xxxxxx
Anonymous Book Reviewer.
Tuesday, July 16, 2013
...Rocky Mountain Climbing, And I, Watched A Mutant Bird Kid As It Was Flying!!
Hey world!! Wow, I took my own sweet time blogging, didn't I? I mean, what has it been? A whole day!? I can't believe I took so long! Anyways, I really need to hurry along with this post because I'm going to the water park! Again! So here I go...
So, last night I finished reading this book called Fang by James Patterson, book six of eight in the Maximum Ride series. But also book 3 of the Protectors series. It's kind of like it's in two series at once. Maybe it has an alter ego. Does it have an evil twin? Is it secretly trying to take over the world?! Aahh! Well, if you want to help the evil-twin-alter-ego take over the world, click here for the Amazon link!
Summaryish: Okay, I'm getting tired of saying "new enemy," but I guess there has to be a new antagonist for every book, so I'm just going to have to say it. When a new enemy threatens the flock, Max decides they should probably stop him before re-ruining their lives. But, when Angel votes yet again to be the new team leader, and she also predicts that Fang will die soon, well, it's needless to say things get complicated. Also, a new flock member shows up seemingly just in time to...dare I say it? Take Fang's place. I guess I do dare.
Review: You know how I've been saying this series is rapidly growing more and more unbelievable and too much emphasis on the fiction in science fiction? Well, today that's not true. I guess Mr. Patterson realized it was all getting to be a little too fictitious and fixed it! Hurray! Good news for everyone! Especially me, since I really enjoyed the book! It was great! Fast paced, and better than all the books preceding it! I'm happy I stuck with the series now because I really super liked the book!
Words to the Characters:
Max: Haha, I knew you couldn't stay away for long!
Fang: Why! Why'd you do it!!!??!!
I think that's all I have to say! Bye now! Join me next time for something I've been waiting for for, like, 104 books. Maybe even more!
Xxxxxx X. Xxxxxx
Anonymous Book Reviewer.
So, last night I finished reading this book called Fang by James Patterson, book six of eight in the Maximum Ride series. But also book 3 of the Protectors series. It's kind of like it's in two series at once. Maybe it has an alter ego. Does it have an evil twin? Is it secretly trying to take over the world?! Aahh! Well, if you want to help the evil-twin-alter-ego take over the world, click here for the Amazon link!
Summaryish: Okay, I'm getting tired of saying "new enemy," but I guess there has to be a new antagonist for every book, so I'm just going to have to say it. When a new enemy threatens the flock, Max decides they should probably stop him before re-ruining their lives. But, when Angel votes yet again to be the new team leader, and she also predicts that Fang will die soon, well, it's needless to say things get complicated. Also, a new flock member shows up seemingly just in time to...dare I say it? Take Fang's place. I guess I do dare.
Review: You know how I've been saying this series is rapidly growing more and more unbelievable and too much emphasis on the fiction in science fiction? Well, today that's not true. I guess Mr. Patterson realized it was all getting to be a little too fictitious and fixed it! Hurray! Good news for everyone! Especially me, since I really enjoyed the book! It was great! Fast paced, and better than all the books preceding it! I'm happy I stuck with the series now because I really super liked the book!
Words to the Characters:
Max: Haha, I knew you couldn't stay away for long!
Fang: Why! Why'd you do it!!!??!!
I think that's all I have to say! Bye now! Join me next time for something I've been waiting for for, like, 104 books. Maybe even more!
Xxxxxx X. Xxxxxx
Anonymous Book Reviewer.
Monday, July 15, 2013
Eyre You Out There? The Last Time That Was In My Title It Was For A Completely Different Reason.
Hey world! I'm finally back!! It's been a while, but like I said last time, today's book was written in 1847. And if you've ever read a book written in 1847 then you'll know it often takes longer to read than a regular old twenty-first century book because in that time period the quality of your work was judged on your word choice, i. e. if you used large or obscure words. English history lesson over, time to review!
So, maybe you've guessed this already, but I just finished reading Jane Eyre by Charlotte Brontë, under the alias of Currer Bell because women weren't allowed to write books back then, which wasn't cool at all. So take a moment to reflect on the awesomeness that is your favorite female author and what your life would be like in the 19th century, when she was not allowed to publish a book that you simply adored. Here, enjoy the sweet madness that is the Amazon link.
Summaryish: Okay, I thought this up last night: When Jane Eyre goes to work as a governess in Thornfield Hall, and falls in love with her employer, serious complications arise when dark secrets are revealed just moments before they are to be married! But just now, I decided to add that she had a pitiful childhood, and you will hear about that as well. Hm. I hope I didn't just give away too much, if I did, unread that.
Review: Wowzers! You know, at first, I was worried this book would be all...1847ish, but it was surprisingly amazing! I mean, it's not just a romance, which I would never read because I don't like romances, it also had some pretty suspenseful moments of heart pounding action. However, I think I would have liked it a lot better if I hadn't read Jasper Fforde's The Eyre Affair first, because that gave away a lot of things that would have been better if they were surprises. But, even though I knew what would happen in the end, and what the spooky noises were, I still really liked this book! And I think you would like it too!
Words to the Characters:
Jane: It's just one disastrophe after another with you, isn't it? Don't let it get you down!
Mr. Rochester: You are one tough person of whom to form an opinion. Some of the time you're crusty and rude, and some of the time your actually nice. Have you ever thought of naming your different personalities? I have, it makes it so much easier to keep track of who's talking.
Okay, I'm done now. I don't know what's coming up next, because I need to go to the library, but when I know, you'll know 1-3 days later. Bye!
Xxxxxx X. Xxxxxx
Anonymous Book Reviewer.
So, maybe you've guessed this already, but I just finished reading Jane Eyre by Charlotte Brontë, under the alias of Currer Bell because women weren't allowed to write books back then, which wasn't cool at all. So take a moment to reflect on the awesomeness that is your favorite female author and what your life would be like in the 19th century, when she was not allowed to publish a book that you simply adored. Here, enjoy the sweet madness that is the Amazon link.
Summaryish: Okay, I thought this up last night: When Jane Eyre goes to work as a governess in Thornfield Hall, and falls in love with her employer, serious complications arise when dark secrets are revealed just moments before they are to be married! But just now, I decided to add that she had a pitiful childhood, and you will hear about that as well. Hm. I hope I didn't just give away too much, if I did, unread that.
Review: Wowzers! You know, at first, I was worried this book would be all...1847ish, but it was surprisingly amazing! I mean, it's not just a romance, which I would never read because I don't like romances, it also had some pretty suspenseful moments of heart pounding action. However, I think I would have liked it a lot better if I hadn't read Jasper Fforde's The Eyre Affair first, because that gave away a lot of things that would have been better if they were surprises. But, even though I knew what would happen in the end, and what the spooky noises were, I still really liked this book! And I think you would like it too!
Words to the Characters:
Jane: It's just one disastrophe after another with you, isn't it? Don't let it get you down!
Mr. Rochester: You are one tough person of whom to form an opinion. Some of the time you're crusty and rude, and some of the time your actually nice. Have you ever thought of naming your different personalities? I have, it makes it so much easier to keep track of who's talking.
Okay, I'm done now. I don't know what's coming up next, because I need to go to the library, but when I know, you'll know 1-3 days later. Bye!
Xxxxxx X. Xxxxxx
Anonymous Book Reviewer.
Thursday, July 11, 2013
Woops! I Almost Forgot!
Hello world! You know, all day yesterday I was thinking to myself, "I have forgotten something...now what was it?" And, as it turns out, it was blogging!! Silly me! I, the reigning blogging monarch, failed to review a book yesterday! Maybe yesterday was opposites day or something. So, are you ready to talk about a book? If so, continue reading! If not, just hang out here in the introductory paragraph for a while. No rush.
So, it was probably Tuesday when I finished reading The Last Operative by Jerry B. Jenkins. It was formerly known as just The Operative but it was republished, and this is the amazon link to the version I read. Wow. All the requirements to my second paragraph were met in just two sentences. Weird.
Summaryish: If you read the post I made before this one, then you will know that I thought this book was about spies. And I was right. It's about a spy whose wifey was murdered, and he's all like "REVENGE!!" But also he's trying to stop some terrorists from blowing up America with nuclear bombs. In addition, he's trying to repair some major rifts in his relationship with his kids, who are little more than acquaintances due to his life as an NSA agent.
Review: Maybe it's because I read this book two whole days ago, but I'm not really sure how I feel about this book. It was nicely paced, and full of action. But, some parts were really boring and I was like "Bleh!" but then, something interesting happens and I'm like "Yeah!" I like how there were codes, and missions, and other spy-like things, and how well that was balanced with normal real life things. (Or as real life as fiction can get, but we all know there is no real life outside of books anyway.) So, yeah. That's pretty much all I have to say.
Words to the Characters:
Cydya: J'aime ta nom beaucoup! C'est très belle!
Jordan: Personally, I don't think you should retire. I think you should take more vacation time.
Okie dokie, see you next time! Who knows when that will be, though, the book I'm reading now was written in 1847!!
Xxxxxx X. Xxxxxx
Anonymous Book Reviewer.
So, it was probably Tuesday when I finished reading The Last Operative by Jerry B. Jenkins. It was formerly known as just The Operative but it was republished, and this is the amazon link to the version I read. Wow. All the requirements to my second paragraph were met in just two sentences. Weird.
Summaryish: If you read the post I made before this one, then you will know that I thought this book was about spies. And I was right. It's about a spy whose wifey was murdered, and he's all like "REVENGE!!" But also he's trying to stop some terrorists from blowing up America with nuclear bombs. In addition, he's trying to repair some major rifts in his relationship with his kids, who are little more than acquaintances due to his life as an NSA agent.
Review: Maybe it's because I read this book two whole days ago, but I'm not really sure how I feel about this book. It was nicely paced, and full of action. But, some parts were really boring and I was like "Bleh!" but then, something interesting happens and I'm like "Yeah!" I like how there were codes, and missions, and other spy-like things, and how well that was balanced with normal real life things. (Or as real life as fiction can get, but we all know there is no real life outside of books anyway.) So, yeah. That's pretty much all I have to say.
Words to the Characters:
Cydya: J'aime ta nom beaucoup! C'est très belle!
Jordan: Personally, I don't think you should retire. I think you should take more vacation time.
Okie dokie, see you next time! Who knows when that will be, though, the book I'm reading now was written in 1847!!
Xxxxxx X. Xxxxxx
Anonymous Book Reviewer.
Monday, July 8, 2013
Title? What Title? Murder!? These Murders!
Hey world! Gosh, it's been ages!! Well, more like four days, but still. I have news!! I change to my blog is coming in the near future!! I can't wait! Actually I can, since it's kind of a boring change. Oh well. Changes are changes, and this certainly is one! This paragraph has gone on long enough! Let's talk about books!
So, a little while ago I completed a book called The Paris Directive by Gerald Jay (which is a pen name). I think it was his debut. Later, it's going to be a series, but no other books have been written yet. So right now it's just a book, waiting for siblings. I can't decide whether it falls into the category of thriller or mystery. Maybe it was just fiction. I don't know.
Summaryish: You should be really proud of me, I came up with this summaryish before I even started this post! So now I don't have to take two lines of type thinking about what I'm going to say! Huzzah! So when an assassin kills four people when they are vacationing in France, and the local handyman is wrongly accused, the daughter of two of the victims and Investigator Mazarelle have to follow their instincts to catch the real killer, who has covered his tracks seemingly flawlessly. Tada!
Review: Oi veh. You know how my summary makes this book sound great? Well, I was lying. I wasn't lying about what this book is about, I was falsely adding excitement to the story. I mean, if you know it was Colonel Mustard with the candlestick in the library before you even start, why play the game? If it's going to be a mystery, it needs to be mysterious, and if it's going to be a thriller, it needs to be thrilling. But I was neither mystified nor thrilled, I was bored! I would have stopped half way through, but I couldn't do that because then my review wouldn't be honest. I also have a reading log that would have been mad at me. But that's just me, if you like inspectors and red heads just standing around living, albeit in the midst of several murders, than you would love this book! But if your like me, and need at least a car chase to keep you enthralled, then I would not add this to your library list.
Words to the Characters:
Molly: It's kind of weird how you don't seem all that sad about your parents dying, but, hey, we all take things differently!
Reiner: You're really mean, I don't think I like you.
That's about all for today! Join me next time for what I think might be a book about spies, but I'm not sure! Bye!
Xxxxxx X. Xxxxxx
Anonymous Book Reviewer.
So, a little while ago I completed a book called The Paris Directive by Gerald Jay (which is a pen name). I think it was his debut. Later, it's going to be a series, but no other books have been written yet. So right now it's just a book, waiting for siblings. I can't decide whether it falls into the category of thriller or mystery. Maybe it was just fiction. I don't know.
Summaryish: You should be really proud of me, I came up with this summaryish before I even started this post! So now I don't have to take two lines of type thinking about what I'm going to say! Huzzah! So when an assassin kills four people when they are vacationing in France, and the local handyman is wrongly accused, the daughter of two of the victims and Investigator Mazarelle have to follow their instincts to catch the real killer, who has covered his tracks seemingly flawlessly. Tada!
Review: Oi veh. You know how my summary makes this book sound great? Well, I was lying. I wasn't lying about what this book is about, I was falsely adding excitement to the story. I mean, if you know it was Colonel Mustard with the candlestick in the library before you even start, why play the game? If it's going to be a mystery, it needs to be mysterious, and if it's going to be a thriller, it needs to be thrilling. But I was neither mystified nor thrilled, I was bored! I would have stopped half way through, but I couldn't do that because then my review wouldn't be honest. I also have a reading log that would have been mad at me. But that's just me, if you like inspectors and red heads just standing around living, albeit in the midst of several murders, than you would love this book! But if your like me, and need at least a car chase to keep you enthralled, then I would not add this to your library list.
Words to the Characters:
Molly: It's kind of weird how you don't seem all that sad about your parents dying, but, hey, we all take things differently!
Reiner: You're really mean, I don't think I like you.
That's about all for today! Join me next time for what I think might be a book about spies, but I'm not sure! Bye!
Xxxxxx X. Xxxxxx
Anonymous Book Reviewer.
Thursday, July 4, 2013
DOUBLE Double Toil And Trouble, Fire Burn And Cauldron Bubble!
Hey world!! So, it turns out the water park doesn't open until eleven, and I can wish you a happy 4th of July after all! So, to all you Americans out there, happy Independence Day! To all the other people out there, hi! It's nice to be posting again after such a short time. Blogging is really fun, I recommend it to everyone. Everyone that has something interesting to talk about, like books.
So, at 12:56, or 7, I'm not sure, I finished reading this book by Jenny Valentine called Double. I know what you're thinking. Why did you read this book so fast? Why not stop reading at 11:22 when your eyes started drooping? The simple answer is, dignity. In order to retain it after taking six days to read a simple 478 page novel, I absolutely HAD to finish something as small as a 246 page book extra super fast. So, I still have my dignity, and now you have an Amazon link.
Summaryish: This book is all about this guy, I'll call him Chap, and how, after a case of mistaken identity, he decides to take on the life of Cassiel, who inexplicably looks exactly like him. But he soon finds out that it's harder to pretend to be a stranger than he thought. And maybe, just maybe, being Cassiel is even more dangerous than being Chap. Pretty simple plot to summaryishize. I might be subconsciously paraphrasing the jacket flap though...
Review: At first, I didn't really like this book very much. Maybe because it came right after Angelmaker, but probably just because it was very very slow. But, it did have some nice foreshadowing that kept me interested enough to get all the way to three pages past the halfway mark, where it finally picked up the pace and interested me for real. After that, I really loved the book! But not as much as I would love, say, a Scott Westerfeld. I would catalog Ms. Valentine right up there with Gordon Korman and Roland Smith. Better than D. James Smith, not as good as P.W. Catanese.
Words to the Characters:
Frank: You would be nice if you weren't so mean....
Edie: Wow, two Edies in a row!!! Crazy!!!
Wow, I didn't even talk to the main character today! Unpredictability is fun! Okay, water park time! Bye!
Xxxxxx X. Xxxxxx
Anonymous Book Reviewer.
Wednesday, July 3, 2013
Too Wow. Just Wow. To Be A Wow. Just Wow.
Hey world!!! Sheesh, it's been almost a whole week! But, in my defense, the book I was reading is pretty intense, in an epic sort of way, not as in "intense workout" because we all know how terrible those are. We'll talk more about that later. I almost didn't review this, but upon reflection I discovered it was way too good not to review!! It's too Wow. Just Wow. to be a Wow. Just Wow. Ooh. I think I'll title this post that. I was also going to review it tomorrow, so that I could wish all the Americans out there a happy Forth of July, but then I remembered I'm going to be at a water park tomorrow. Hm. For an anonymous person, I sure do tell the world a lot about myself.
So, the book I'm reviewing today is called Angelmaker by Nick Harkaway. Who, for the record, is going on my favorite author list. But we'll talk more about that later. I've never read anything by him before, but you can bet I will! Anyways, if you would like to purchase the book, which I highly recommend (we'll talk more about that later) try clicking here. Even if you don't want to buy it, you can still click and see the picture of the cover which is very pretty indeed! Oh, and does anyone ever notice that I always put the authors' websites inside their names? In case you didn't, the authors' names are links! I've always thought it was pretty obvious since links turn all sorts of crazy colors. Just thought I'd make it entirely known so that there is no doubt whatsoever that websites can be found in names. And Mr. Harkaway has a very nifty website!
Summaryish: A moment of silence please. For me to collect my thoughts, of course. No one died or anything. Okie dokie, I have a summaryish in my brain now. The trouble is typing it. So this book is all about this clockworker, whose daddy was an infamous criminal, and how his attempts to not follow in his father's footsteps are foiled by the forces of evil trying to achieve god-like status by means of a truth machine. He teams up with a former superspy, now crazy dog lady, to stop aforementioned evil forces from doing aforementioned heinous acts of evil. Bam. Frame that one and stick it on the wall. It has to be one of my best summaryishes ever. Please, hold your applause.
Review: I don't think I could ever tell you how much I love this book. It was absolutely and utterly supercalifragilisticexpiallidocious. And that's saying something because usually minor things or events in books cause me to stop at awesometatiousfulicious. I'm about to break some major scales here by saying this book is only a smidgeon shy of equaling the level of awesome where Artemis Fowl now rests. Now do you see how beautiful this book is?
Words to the Characters:
Joe: Forgive me, but I have to say it: You're definitely not an average Joe are you? Sorry. I couldn'y stop myself. Usually I only bring in clichés when I can't think of something to say, but this time it was more like I couldn't resist.
Polly: Wow. It's hard to get from Mary Angelica to Polly, but I guess you just like things difficult. I admire that.
Yeah that's about it for today. I feel sorry for the next book in my pile, but someone had to compose after Beethoven. That's my version of 'someone had to go on after Elvis' because I'm more of a Beethoven fan than an Elvis fan.
Xxxxxx X. Xxxxxx
Anonymous Book Reviewer.
So, the book I'm reviewing today is called Angelmaker by Nick Harkaway. Who, for the record, is going on my favorite author list. But we'll talk more about that later. I've never read anything by him before, but you can bet I will! Anyways, if you would like to purchase the book, which I highly recommend (we'll talk more about that later) try clicking here. Even if you don't want to buy it, you can still click and see the picture of the cover which is very pretty indeed! Oh, and does anyone ever notice that I always put the authors' websites inside their names? In case you didn't, the authors' names are links! I've always thought it was pretty obvious since links turn all sorts of crazy colors. Just thought I'd make it entirely known so that there is no doubt whatsoever that websites can be found in names. And Mr. Harkaway has a very nifty website!
Summaryish: A moment of silence please. For me to collect my thoughts, of course. No one died or anything. Okie dokie, I have a summaryish in my brain now. The trouble is typing it. So this book is all about this clockworker, whose daddy was an infamous criminal, and how his attempts to not follow in his father's footsteps are foiled by the forces of evil trying to achieve god-like status by means of a truth machine. He teams up with a former superspy, now crazy dog lady, to stop aforementioned evil forces from doing aforementioned heinous acts of evil. Bam. Frame that one and stick it on the wall. It has to be one of my best summaryishes ever. Please, hold your applause.
Review: I don't think I could ever tell you how much I love this book. It was absolutely and utterly supercalifragilisticexpiallidocious. And that's saying something because usually minor things or events in books cause me to stop at awesometatiousfulicious. I'm about to break some major scales here by saying this book is only a smidgeon shy of equaling the level of awesome where Artemis Fowl now rests. Now do you see how beautiful this book is?
Words to the Characters:
Joe: Forgive me, but I have to say it: You're definitely not an average Joe are you? Sorry. I couldn'y stop myself. Usually I only bring in clichés when I can't think of something to say, but this time it was more like I couldn't resist.
Polly: Wow. It's hard to get from Mary Angelica to Polly, but I guess you just like things difficult. I admire that.
Yeah that's about it for today. I feel sorry for the next book in my pile, but someone had to compose after Beethoven. That's my version of 'someone had to go on after Elvis' because I'm more of a Beethoven fan than an Elvis fan.
Xxxxxx X. Xxxxxx
Anonymous Book Reviewer.
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