Friday, January 25, 2013

What's This Solitaire Cipher I've Been Hearing So Much About...?

Hello world! How has your reading been going? I hope you've been reading some of the things I reviewed! That would make me immensely happy because it would prove that my blog really is benefiting mankind!!! Are you ready to talk about books now? I am. WAIT! We've been talking about books this whole paragraph. Let me rephrase my previous question: Are you ready to start talking about the book I just finished? 

So, I just finished this book called Genius Squad by Catherine Jinks. Don't try to hide it, I can tell you are trying to remember why that sounds familiar...It's because I've reviewed this books prequel!!! Evil Genius was reviewed right over here. The third, Genius Wars, has, obviously, not been reviewed by me, but may be in the near future as I have every intention of checking out that book just as soon as it is available in my local, but sadly under-stocked (at least in my opinion,) library. 

Summaryish: Oi veh...this is going to be hard...ummm...Okay, I'm ready now. So, Cadel Piggot (English? Darkkon?) is in foster care, then he's not, then he's part of Genius Squad, then he's not. Tada! What do you think? I'm just kidding, I'm going to summarize at least a little better than that. After dozens of plot twists and action packed suspenseful moments, the beginning seems so far away...but I'll do my best to dredge up these distant memories. So, as aforementioned, a miserable Cadel English (Darkkon? Piggott?) is now rotting in foster care with limited access to computers, and awful housemates. But do not worry for him! After getting into some mischief, he is approached by some people who offer him the chance of a lifetime, to join a secret group of people who call themselves Genius Squad. Oh snap. That's all I can tell you. Dare I risk explaining further? I like to live dangerously, but not that dangerously. I may be anonymous, but there are ways for readers who are mad at me for giving something away to track me down. Let's just move on, shall we?

Review: I have to admit, because I was sworn to honesty, that I was a little teensy weensy bit disappointed when beginning this book, as it started out a lot slower than I expected, but around the middle it started running up a steep mountain, which more than made up for the slow beginning! Guess what time I finally turned off my light last night? 12:49 AM. Guess what I was doing at lunch time? Certainly not eating that's for sure! I was finishing the book! But, being the person that I am, I must state that Cadel Darkkon (Piggott? English?) has nothing on Artemis Fowl and would surely lose a brutal, and short battle in a book off. You know...now that I think about it...does the Eoin Colfer boycott include his website too? Or would it be acceptable to, you know, just see what he's up to without actually reading anything written by him? No. I must stay strong. 

Words to the Characters: 

Cadel: Being the "new" Cadel is a great thing, I am most certainly not fond of people breaking the law, but..I don't know...I miss the old you, he was more exciting. Not that you're not exciting or anything, the Gazo talking-to scheme thing was great. 

Sonja: So...how's life working out for you?

Lexi: Oh! You make me laugh! 

Prosper: Ooo, are you in for a shock...Can't wait 'til Genius Wars!  

Alrighty, there's nothing left for me to say, except that parting is such sweet sorrow. (No, I'm not reading Romeo and Juliet, I read that last summer.)Goodbye! 

Xxxxxx X. Xxxxxx
Anonymous Book Reviewer

Tuesday, January 22, 2013

All These Plot-Twists Are Making Me Dizzy

Hello readers! Nice to see you! I hope you are doing well! Can you believe January is almost over? I can't! I still think it's November! But, hey, time is relevant, not constant. Or is that motion? I like to think time is relevant, so I'm going to continue thinking that. Anyways, let's get down to business and start talking about the book!

So, I just finished reading this book called The Scorch Trials by...wait for it...James Dashner!! It is the second in a trilogy. The first book was called The Maze Runner and the third is The Death Cure Oh! And I just found out there is a prequel called The Kill Order. Hmm...Maybe it's more than a trilogy after all! That would make me immensely happy! I wish there were a never ending series...but wait, if it never ended wouldn't I die before it's finished? I take it back, I wish there were a series that would extend throughout my entire life. 

Summaryish: Okay, I'm not even going to attempt to summarize this...Yes I am, I can't bear to neglect my duties as a book review blogger. So here I go...In the first book Thomas wakes up in a really weird farm like place surrounded by stone walls and inhabited by 40-50 other boys who suffer from mass memory loss. He doesn't remember a single thing, either, except his name.  Thomas soon finds out that on the other side of the stone walls is a maze...and deadly creatures. The very next day, something even weirder occurs: A girl shows up in the Box. And she triggers the end. Some stuff happens...and zoom ahead, now we're in the second book. By now, the Gladers know they are part of an experiment, and an even harder challenge than the maze awaits them. They have to cross the hottest and deadliest part of the Earth after sun flares have ruined the whole ecosystem, in only two weeks. Oh, and they also have a deadly disease that could make them go insane in a matter of months. Yeah, I am definitely getting better at summarizing. Maybe soon I'll be able to change it from a "Summaryish" just to a "Summary." Yay! 

Review: Now we're to the fun part!! There are a few things I'd like to say: One; wow!!! Two; It was definitely worth being several days over-due at the library. And, three; wow!!!! There were so many things I didn't see coming! I didn't want to put it down for a single moment, and even contemplated taking it to the dinner table with me. But there are unwritten rules like no books at the table during dinner. But, in a way, I actually did take it to the table with me because I couldn't stop thinking about it the whole time I was mechanically shoveling food into my mouth. It was very well thought out and nicely written, although sentence fluency could be improved. 

Words to the Characters:

Teresa: I always believed in you!! Actually, I'm lying, I did doubt you for a little while there.

Thomas: I feel bad that you and Teresa will never be the same again, maybe, just maybe, you could get close to the way things were.

Minho: How do you pronounce your name? It's been driving me crazy! Is the H silent? Is the I short or long? 

Brenda: Curious, and curiourser. 

Oky doky, no more words from me today not including these ones! Tootaloo fellow readers. Comment your favourite book for me, pretty please? My book list grows short yet again. 

Xxxxxx X. Xxxxxx
Anonymous Book Reviewer. 

Monday, January 21, 2013

Man! I Can't Think Of A Title. What's Wrong With Me?

Hello fellow book-lovers! Welcome once again to my book review blog!! It's been a while! I meant to post yesterday...but I forgot. Yes, I know, it's happened again! But it isn't my fault. It's global warming's fault. I blame everything on global warming for two reasons: One, it's a non-sentient thing and can't defend itself. Two, no one can prove it wasn't global warming's fault. It's a good system, but we're not here to talk about that, we're here to talk about books!!!

So, I just finished this book, well, more like play, called Julius Caesar by our dearly beloved William Shakespeare!!! I'm pretty sure it's not a series, because everyone ended up dying. Sorry, spoilers. And don't you even try to figure out what's under that green box, you know I'm against spoilers. Anyways, try clicking in a secret location to find the link, here is your hint: HERE! 

Summaryish: Okay, this one is going to be a little bit easier to summarize than normal because other than everyone dying, there are no real spoilers. So it's about theses people who are plotting to kill Julius Caesar because they think he's getting too ambitious, and they don't want a king; they want to keep the Roman republic. The really sad part is that among these conspirators are some of Julius' best friends. People he thought he could trust. I don't know about you, but this story definitely made my paranoia increase. Anyways, it's also about the how Mark Antony, a good friend of Caesar's, teams up with Octavius, Caesar's adopted son, to get revenge on the murderers. Then there's like this big huge battle, which is pretty entertaining. 

Review: Don't take this the wrong way if you are a die-hard Shakespeare fan, but this play wasn't one of my favourites. I guess I'm just too used to Shakespeare writing about fairies and witches and potions, that people just sitting around making plans, and then those plans happening without anything going wrong kind of shocked me. There was a ghost, which was cool, but he didn't stay long, which was sad. I found my attention wondering around because people kept repeating themselves. Again, don't get me wrong, I loved the story!! I know. I'm confusing. 

Words for the Characters. 

Julius Caesar: Why didn't you listen to your wifey??? If you would have, you wouldn't have died...I just realized I'm talking to a dead person...Awkward. 

Brutus: It was kind of nice how you were reluctant and stabbed him last...It would have been even nicer if you didn't stab him at all. 

Cleopatra: Why weren't you in this play? I thought you and Julius were married or something??? 

That's all for today folks! Next time we'll talk about sun flares!! (I'll give you five virtual dollars if you can guess what book it is. Actually, I won't. But you'll have a lot of satisfaction!!!)

Xxxxxx X. Xxxxxx
Anonymous Book Reviewer 

Friday, January 18, 2013

I Really Wanna Fly On A Dragon Too!

Hello again everybody! I am pleased to see you!! Even if you are just a number on my Stats page, I feel like we are the best of friends. We connect through books!! Yay! The powers of reading never cease to amaze me! You're in for a treat today, mon ami, I'm reviewing another book from a series I have reviewed before! Woo hoo!! Raise the ceiling!!!

So, I just finished this book called Diviner by Bryan Davis of the Dragons of Starlight series...sounding familiar yet?? I reviewed the book before this, Warrior, Here!!! I can't wait to read the last one and review it here! Then I'll have read and reviewed almost a whole series!! Wouldn't that be exciting? I've started several series books here, but never finished a WHOLE series!! Now I'm positively tingling!! No, seriously. Is that normal? I'm kind of scaring myself a little here...Oh, by the way, HERE is where you can get the book. Haha! Fooled you, but seriously, here you can have it.  

Summaryish: For an overview of the first two books, you can click that little Here up there ^^. If the pesky little link is broken, however, I give you permission to punch your computer screen. Or you can save yourself a trip to the hospital and then the store and scroll down until you find it!!  Okay, in this installment of the glorious series Dragons of Starlight, Koren makes her final decision: serve Taushin, the evil self-proclaimed/prophesied/did I mention evil? dragon king, or paradoxically free herself by trapping herself in the broken star Exodus. Also, Elyssa discovers new talents. Also, Jason does some heroic stuff. Also, there's the floating dead girl again, what's up with that? Also, there's an ending that's really suspenseful!! You know, I think I'm getting better at this whole "summarizing" thing. I guess what they say is true, practice really does make perfect. Well, as close to perfect as I, with my limited attention span, can get. 

Review: Yes! Finally! It took, like, 12 minutes to get to the review part which is my favourite!! With Bryan Davis, it kind of takes a while for the story to pick up, and boy has it picked up!! Wow! I could barely keep up! I love how smattered throughout the whole book are little wisdoms that kind of change your life, like: "Fear of death is the final slave master." That made me want to go sky diving more than ever! I did not, however, enjoy the whole cutting in right in the middle of a suspenseful scene to go see what someone else is doing. Also, if I could change one thing about this book, I would do a little recap on the less famous characters, I couldn't remember some of the people, and that confused me. 

Words to the Characters: 

Jason: Way to fight the bad guys, buddy! Rock on!

Elyssa: Okay, did I read you wrong, or do you like like Jason???

Koren: My favourite parts of the book were when you told stories! (Don't tell anyone, they might be jealous when the find out my favourite part didn't involve them.)

Marcelle: WHO ARE YOU????    

That's all I have to say today. I promise my next post will be much more tragic!! Bye!

Xxxxxx X. Xxxxxx
Anonymous Book Reviewer.    

Tuesday, January 15, 2013

Is This The 4th Or 5th Time I've Talked About Aliens On Here?

Hello my darling readers! Welcome from all over the world!! What a delight it is to see you again after a whole day of being away! I was so lonely. Well, anyways, I promised you a book, and here it is!!! Wow, short introductory paragraph!!

So, I just finished this book called Alien Invasion and Other Inconveniences by Brian Yansky. It's short, only 227 pages, but I have a feeling there will be a second one, it was definitely set up that way. But, hey, I could be wrong. I've been wrong before. What a tragic day that was when I was trying to deny the reference to the first book at the end of Artemis Fowl, wishing for more adventures and hoping so hopefully that it wasn't even hope anymore, that when I check Eoin Colfer's website the following day, there would be a banner proclaiming "Just kidding!". But, alas, the Eoin Colfer boycott continues..No matter how much I want to read The Wish List...I can live without it. Anyways, you can get it here

Summaryish: So, if you haven't guessed already, this book is about an alien invasion, and some other inconveniences. I can explain this book without fear of spoilers because there weren't that many secrets! I can't decide if that's a good thing or a bad thing. Anyways, Jesse, the lead character, is one of the few people on the Earth that can "hear", or, to simplify things, has telepathic powers that were awakened when the aliens came. So his ability to hear made him a valuable slave, and he went to be in the service of Lord Vert, the most powerful alien on Earth. So, he makes friends, they try to escape, and I regret to inform you that this is all I can say. 

Review: Despite it's shortness, this book was great! It had just the right amount of funny to keep it from being depressing! It's narrated in first person and I love first person! From the first sentence, I knew I was going to enjoy this! The chapters where we got to hear from Lord Vert were particularly fascinating, and really made the aliens seem...I don't know...more human; less bad. Something along those lines. There was something else I wanted to say...I can't remember...Oh well. I guess I need some ginkgo. 

Words to the Characters:

Jesse: You remind me of someone...but who? I REALLY need that ginkgo...

Lauren: I know who you remind me of! Me!! 

Lindsey: I still don't know why you don't eat much, is it habit???

Micheal: Pals before gals, dude, that could have saved your life.

Bart: Well aren't you surprising! Welcome to my List of Memorable Characters! 

Okely dokely, I am done here for now, see you in a few days!!! Oh, some news for you: I was thinking about adding another page to this blog, A List of Memorable Characters page. But it is up to you, my dear readers, I will not add it unless you tell me to!

Xxxxxx X. Xxxxxx
Anonymous Book Reviewer.      

Monday, January 14, 2013

I Did Not See That Coming.

Hello my dear friends! Welcome once again to my blog!  I hope you are having a bippety boppety bootiful day and that reading my blog makes it better! Did you know that "blog" is actually short for "web log" I just learned that! Cool, huh? Anyways, last time I blogged I promised you a super secret review, and here it is!!

So, I just finished this book called Thyme Running Out by Panama Oxridge! It is the sequel to Justin Thyme and is the second in a series called Tartan of Thyme!! But here is some distressing news...Panama hasn't posted on his/her blog in over a year! Does this mean She/he has been kidnapped and can no longer write? Has he/she died? Will she/he ever come back? He/she had better, because I really want the third book now!!!!!!! 

Summaryish: Okay, deep breaths, I can do this, I can summarize this book. Oh no I can't!! Soooo many spoilers! Made extra hard because it's a sequel to an equally secretive book! Oi veh! I'll try my hardest. Where to start? Oo! I know: Justin Thyme is a 13 year old self-made billionaire genius who has made a Time Machine. Umm..That's pretty much all I can say, except that a mysterious person is trying to steal it, nobody knows who, and their are spies in his castle. Yeah, I said castle. He is part of a long line of Lairds of Thyme and he lives in a castle right on the beautiful Loch Ness. Yup, that's all I can say without giving it away. Hey! That rhymes! WAIT! I can tell you ONE more thing. He has a computer literate gorilla. Okay, that's it.

Review: I've been waiting for, like, several months for this book, and it was definitely worth the wait! Woo-hoo! Three thumbs up! I read a lot of books with mysteries in them, and I usually know whodunit before the end, but I did NOT see ANYTHING in this book coming! I mean, Nanny V? Wwoooww. Nessie? Double wow. Haggis? Awww, but wow. And Albion? What in the world??!!! And the clues hidden in the book format were genius!! I doubt I found them all! One of the clues I found wasn't even a clue. It was an anti-clue!! Being the impatient person that I am, I'm probably going to be twitching until I can get my greedy little paws on the next book! I wish I knew what it was called. 

Words to the Characters:

Justin: Can I try your Hover Boots? Pretty please with sprinkles and cherries and pudding??

Eliza: I feel so sorry for you!! But the evidence was against you, so it's understandable. 

Robyn: Good choice.

Nanny V: SAY WHAT???

Albion: I'm still in shock.

Okay, done for today. The book I'm reading now is terribly short, only 227 pages, so I might see you tomorrow! As my good friend Tee-eye-double-guh-er always says; Ta ta for now!!

Xxxxxx X. Xxxxxx
Anonymous Book Reviewer.

Saturday, January 12, 2013

Wow, Did He Just Mix Aliens With Time Travel? Oh Yeah!!!

Hey everybody! Wow! It's been a while! So I was just thinking about how awesome Beethoven is! All of his works have a melancholy air about them, that make your heart feel as if it is made of lead. But they also have a certain lilt in them, a flowing kind of under rhythm that makes you feel like you are walking on air! What paradoxical music! How can you feel as if your lead heart is anchoring you at the same time as you are frolicking through the clouds? Crazy! Anyways, book. 

So I just finished this book called The Map of the Sky by Félix J. Palma! My more avid fans will know that I have reviewed the book Félix wrote before this one! The Map of Time, THIS is where I reviewed it. Oh, and I have discovered that, although it could stand alone, The Map of the Sky is best read after The Map of Time. They're not exactly brother and sister, they're more like first cousins, but still, TMT before TMS, although alphabetically, this is incorrect. Oh! Here, let me get you the Amazon link...there you go. I hope the next one is like, The Map of the Universe or something. I'm tingling with excitement!

Summaryish: Okay, time to summarize. I'll do my best, but this book starts out with something that could spoil the book for you! Let's just say that when the young Emma Harlow makes  a deal with one of her many suitors that if he can recreate the invasion in Mr. Wells' famous book The War of the Worlds then she will marry him. But then, something entirely unexpected happens! Real Martians invade!!! Here is a brief synopsis of the rest of the story: Gasperoni and cheese! I didn't see that coming! Oh snap, did I really just see that? HA! I knew this would come into play soon enough...Oh my gosh! AHHH! AAAHH!! AAAAAAHHHHH! HANG ON!!! YOU CAN DO IT! JUST DON'T LET GO!!! Oh. My. Snap. He's. Griffin!!! Wwwooowww, layered universe! Hahaha! HAHAHA! Oh fantastic ending, I did not expect that at all!!! Woo! Bravo, bravo!! There you have it. The whole book summarized, and I didn't give away a single plot twist. That must be a blog first right there! 

Review: Yay! Reviewing time!! I was so excited for this book! It was great to see all my old friends again, I was really missing George! And Charles Winslow, as arrogant as ever, was not a character I expected to see in this book, but there he was, writing a journal! Anyways, this is one of those rare books in literary history where the sequel exceeds the first in all standards! Not to belittle the awesome that is the first book, of course, which rocked my aloe infused socks like there was no tomorrow. That's how great this second book is!! I am eagerly awaiting the third...Hoping there is a third...Plotting my revenge if there isn't a third. 

Words to the Characters: 

Mr. Wells: So you are secretly -------, huh? I figured it out right near the end, after the whirlpool incident. By the way, huge fan!! I won't ask you to read my dabblings because I know you hate doing that!  

Emma: It's sad how you're so sad all the time, but it's great when you laugh! Try doing that more often!

GM/MG (Can't put your real name! Spoilers!): Your arrival in the story shocked me! But you were a great addition, the way you fawn over Emma as if she's a puppy in need of shelter and protection made me snicker on more than one occasion. 

GM/MG#2 (In the dashing purple suit): HAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!!!!!!

Yeah, I'm finished here, join me next time for a particularly secretive book for which I have been waiting MONTHS!!!!!

Xxxxxx X. Xxxxxx
Anonymous Book Reviewer. 

Saturday, January 5, 2013

Why Can't I Think Of A Title? Usually I'm Good At This Part.

A jolly hey there to you my friend!!! I must apologize. I was supposed to blog yesterday, because I finished this book yesterday's yesterday, but I forgot on account of a compelling little game called Spot It! My deepest and most humble apologies, dear reader. I can't say it will never happen again, because I am unpredictable, even to myself. I can promise, however, that I will post today. Sadly, this post is going to be even less helpful than my others because I am already deep into another book. Such a good book...Anyways. Blog time. 

So I just finished this book called  A Confusion of Princes by Garth Nix. Here's something cool! I have already reviewed a book by this same author! I don't feel like finding the link to that one, so just scroll down if you want to read it. It is, sadly, a standalone novel. Which is depressing. You'll find out why in the review paragraph of this blog. Moving on. Wait, Amazon link; here you go

Summaryish: Okay, this book has so many plot twists it's going to be a toughy to explain. Nothing new there, right? I guess I could tell you a little about it. Here goes: This book is about a guy named Khemri, he's a Prince of the Empire, among 10,000 other princes all competing to become Emperor. And I mean really competing. Within the first few days of Khemri's princedom, he is almost assassinated like, twice. I shouldn't have told you that, should I? Oh well, it's typed now. Anyways. So after joining...uh...an academy of a particular sort and staying there for a length of time, he is chosen to become a certain something that forces him to go waaaay out of the Imperial Space down to the Fringe, where a whole bunch of exiting stuff happens. What am I forgetting? Oh yeah, it's set in the future where everyone lives in space, and as a Prince, when Khemri dies he is re-born. And there's cool technology too! Spellcheck keeps wanting me to change Khemri to Herrick. I think I know how to spell Khemri, thanks anyway, Spellcheck. 

Review: So I was reading the reviews on the backs of a few books, and I decided that, just this once, I would attempt to sound more professional. Here is my trial. Garth Nix has successfully created a believable futuristic space world. With a believable and intriguing tale, you better hold on tight lest the Gs knock you out! How was that? Worthy of Kirkus? 

Words to the Characters:

Khemri: Your arrogance and surprise whenever someone doesn't agree with you is so amusing! But, being the person I am, I must tell you that arrogance is a bad thing. Naughty, naughty. 

Khem (Technically, they're different people!!!): I like you better than Khemri (don't tell him I said that), but his "super powers" are pretty cool. Not that your reduced Psitek isn't cool, it saved you in that sim-jungle on way more than one occasion! 

Raine: I just love your name, it's like rain but different. It doesn't bring to mine a torrential downpour, more like a crystalline sprinkling, and it fits you, too! Not to loose, not too tight, doesn't need to be let out or tucked, so perfect!!

That's all folks! The book I mentioned in my preamble is 592 pages, so it might be a while until next time, bye!
Xxxxxx X. Xxxxxx
Anonymous Book Reviewer.