Monday, February 25, 2013

After Reading This I Looked Down And My Nails Were Gone.


Here I am fellow readers, as promised, to review a book!! It's been a whole day since I last posted, and I've been looking forward to this since I pressed the post button on the other one! I really love this blog, it's super fun!! Anyways, I'm going to get to it...

So, at like, 12:13 yesterday morning I finished a charming little tale called The Invisible Man by H. G. Wells. It was written over a hundred years ago! I'll bet Mr. Wells would be happy to hear that more than a century has passed, and the world is still devouring his works! It's not a series, by the way. Did series books even exist back then? Probably, since Sherlock Holmes was written in 1887. Time for the last part of this paragraph, the Amazon link! Here it is! It's really hidden...

Summaryish: Alrighty, this book will be significantly easier to summarize than all the other books I review, because it's not that secretive at all, just mysterious and spooky. But, because I'm terrible at summarizing things, it's still going to be moderately difficult. But I'll try my best. So this book is about this guy who keeps his entire body covered by clothes and other linen materials. But not to mask his identity, to hide his invisibility. But people quickly grow suspicious, and the Invisible Man quickly grows insane. That's pretty much it, I don't think it would be nice to tell you anymore.

Review: I give this book two thumbs up! It literally gave me chills when all that creepy-haunted-house-BOO stuff kept happening. I get chilly-bumps just thinking of it now. Definitely read at home with the lights on. It wasn't scary, so don't worry about that, it was just....eerie. Or would ethereal be a better word? 

Words to the Characters:

Griffin: I feel sorry for you. I wish you wouldn't steel things, though, or threaten to kill people.

Everyone else: Why do y'all freak out so much? He's just an invisible man. Sheesh.

That's it for today. Can't wait to see you next time when I review an Ann Patchett! Woo!

Xxxxxx X. Xxxxxx
Anonymous Book Reviewer. 

Sunday, February 24, 2013

I Really Really Wanna Fly On A Dragon Too!!

Hello fellow book lovers! I'm sorry, yet again, for being super naughty and not posting when I should have. It's been three days since I finished the book I'm reviewing now. But don't blame me for my negligence! It's obviously the fault of global warming! All this heat is making my brain all loopy-crazy. Anyways, enjoy the rest of this (late) post.

So, I finished this book called Liberator by Bryan Davis a few days ago. It is the the last book in the Dragons of Starlight series, a series which quite literally rocked my world since I almost fell out of bed when reading it. Anyways, if you wish to purchase it follow these cryptic clues to finding it. First clue: Click here. Second clue: Stop clicking, you're there. 

Summaryish: Okay, so as aforementioned, three whole days and another book have passed since I even glanced in the direction of this book. I try never to forget a plot, but the details have all Gone With The Wind. But I guess that's okay, since I never give details anyway. First, click here to find my review of the book before this one in the same series. Inside that post will be a link to my review of the second book in this series, so then you'll have all of those summaries and in this post I can just say that with a plague ravaging the dragon planet Starlight, stakes are at an all time high when it comes to defeating the dragons and freeing the slaves. And with Koren deathly ill with the disease, the cure seems farther away than ever. Is that enough summarizing or do you want me to tell you that Jason and Elyssa are meeting up with the soldiers of Darksphere and Randall is helping with the cure efforts too? Nah, I'll just leave it at that.

Review: Remember how in my last post about this series I was all like "With Bryan Davis, it takes a while for the story to pick up, and boy has it picked up!" That is still incredibly true. This story whipped by in what seemed like seconds, but when I looked at my clock was actually hours. Fast-paced, dragons, portals, AND plagues? Can't get much better than that...but wait! It did because it also has really fast rivers that can are like "Whoooooaaaaa. Hang on for your life!!!" I love those. 

Words to the Characters:

Jason: You and Elyssa are so cute together!! Thanks for not getting mushy.

Elyssa: Look at what I said  to Jason, and switch your name out with his. 

Koren: It shocks me that this whole inner-battle thing is still going on, I mean, sheesh. 

Marcelle: Seriously, who are you???

I'm finished! I have another book to review, but I think I'm going to wait until tomorrow to post do that just to drive you crazy with suspense. But I do love you! 

Xxxxxx X. Xxxxxx
Anonymous Book Reviewer.  

Sunday, February 17, 2013

Almost A Wow. Just Wow. But Not Exactly.

Hey there everybody for the second time today! Nice to see you again, even though it's only been 3 minutes and I haven't gotten the chance to miss you yet. What was I saying again? Oh yeah, hi! Does this paragraph have to be any longer, since I've already said hi just 3 minutes ago? Or do I talk about something else too? Yeah, I'm just gonna talk about the book now...

So, this morning at 12:13 AM, the last words of Skyship Academy: The Pearl Wars by Nick James were read, processed, and filed away for future reference. That was a sad minute, considering this book was so awesome. With a heavy heart, a buzzing brain, and tingling fingertips I placed the completed book on my shelf and pondered whether this book was too awesome to review or not. I decided on not, mostly because I can't not review something too often because I'll run out of ways to rephrase Wow. Just Wow. I also decided to review it because this is part of a series, and it wouldn't be fair if I didn't review a whole series. Anyways, Amazon link.  

Summaryish: Okay, because I was on the verge of not reviewing this, I'm not going to summarize. I know, I'm neglecting the Sacred Duties of the Order of the Bloggers, but I'm not just going to leave you hanging, I'm going to refer you to another fellow blogger who can summarize this for me. And I'm still going to give out Words to the Characters, so I'm not being all rebellious. BUT if I give you this link, you have to promise you won't forget about me, and go to another blog. I would be devastated. Here you go. I only skimmed it to make sure there was a summary, so I apologize if it's not a good blog or it uses bad words or something. 

Review: Wowzers, wowzers, wowzers. There's not much else I can say about this book. The story was completely unique, unclichéd, and particularly riveting. I believe I mention in my other post that I read for five hours straight yesterday. That is not an exaggeration, I really did read for five hours yesterday, without breaks, because I was so lost in the story. It would have been longer before I stopped for a break, but I almost had an awesome-science-fiction overdose, and I didn't want to go to the hospital to get some non-fiction in my blood stream via an IV so I had to pause briefly and I was hungry anyways. 

Words to the Characters: 

Jesse: You are so lucky! I've always wanted to live in the sky.

Cassius: I love your name, it reminds me of the starts. Which is weird because you're Surface and Jesse is Skyship. Life is funny that way.

Skandar: You make me laugh sometimes!! And your name is really cool, I like it. 

Okay, done for the day. Join me next time for a series denouement!!! Bye bye!

Xxxxxx X. Xxxxxx
Anonymous Book Reviewer.    

Love Is In The Air, But So Is Ash, Which Makes The Love Kind Of Disappear. So Ash Is In The Air!

Hey everybody!! Sorry about not posting yesterday!!! I read for like, five hours straight yesterday, so, being the book lover that you no doubt are, I hope you will understand. But, to make up for me negligence, I believe two posts are in order today! Shall we begin?

So, I just finished this book called This World We Live In by Susan Beth Pfeffer (I hope that's how you spell her name) and it is the third book in the Last Survivors series, the next book is due for publishment in September of this year. The third to be exact. I don't think there is a specific time, so that's as exact as I can get. Oh, and if you're wondering, publishment is not in the dictionary, but it should be. "Publishing" lacks panache. Anyways, if you want the Amazon link try clicking here

Summaryish: Oky doky, if this book isn't sounding familiar yet, refresh your memory here. Yup, I reviewed the book preceding this so I don't have to summarize the book that come before this one. In this installment of the series, the whole family gets back together in a big reunion! They hug it out for a while, and then the trouble starts. As Miranda falls in love, her whole world crumbles down around her, literally and figuratively. Food's running out, it's snowing in June, and all sorts of fun stuff like that occurs. I can't really tell you anymore. Mostly because troubles are basically all that happens, but partly because there are some secrets I can't give away.

Review: This book was pretty great, not quite fantabulous, but good enough to read and enjoy. It was just a little too pessimistic for me. I prefer hopeful apocalypses to we're doomed apocalypses. Or is that apocalypi? Anyways, I'm looking forward to the next in the series, The Shade of the Moon. It looks like this one is written from Jon's perspective. Fun!

Words to the Characters: 

Miranda: Why did you have to be so doom and gloom until the end? Last time, you were more hopeful. I miss that Miranda. 

Alex: Why is it that when I look at you, you look like a puppy that just got kicked?

Syl & Charlie: Y'all are tied for my favourite characters!! Congratulations! In a sad way.

Matt: I'm with your mom on this one, buddy.

Okay, I'm not saying good bye today, because right after I push the little "Publish" button, I'm going to hit the little "New Post" button, and blog again. 

Xxxxxx X. Xxxxxx
Anonymous Book Reviewer.   

Friday, February 15, 2013

Eyre You Out There? Get It? Eyre, Like Are. Ha!

Hey there!!!! I have a question for you: Are my blog posts getting tired? I have, like, over 30 posts now and they all seem to go the same way. I was thinking maybe I should mix it up a little. I like change. Without change everything would be incredibly dull, and I don't want my blog to be dull!!! That wouldn't be good! Oh, by the way, happy Day After Valentines Day. 

So, I just finished reading this book called The Eyre Affair by Jasper Fforde, book one of seven of the Thursday Next series so far. I'm not sure if more are going to be written, or if the series ends at seven, because I haven't gotten there yet. I mean, sheesh, I just started, I don't read that fast, it took me five days just to read this one. (I blame global warming and day lights savings, those things are conspiring against me, it's scary. Have you ever had day lights savings stalk you in a busy grocery store? It took me an hour to lose it, but I finally got rid of it near the produce.) Anyways, here's the whole Amazon thing.   

Summaryish: This is where I've decided to mix it up. Because this book, with all the events that could give away later events, is so hard to summarize, and I don't want to be responsible for giving away the ending, I'm just going to leave you to wonder about what's going to happen with just a few sentences outlining the barest essentials of the plot. Huh. Not that much is changing. Oh well. So, Thursday Next works for SpecOps, in the LiteraTec division, and a manuscript is stolen, she almost dies, then book characters start getting kidnapped and she gets lost in a book. Literally, lost in a book. This is all possible because it's an alternate history book. Tada!! That is the least I can tell you about this book, sounds good, right?

Review: Wowzers! This book was great! I loved how it was sometimes first person, sometimes not. And this book has everything from love squares (which I could do without) to vampires. It has rips in the fabric of reality, book characters coming to life, and so many more delicious topics rolled into 374 pages of humour. I laughed more than once for this one, especially at the whole "I think I'll punch him on the nose," thing, just because it was such a simple statement. Jasper reminds me a little of Eoin Colfer in the humour department, and a little of Douglas Adams in the wow-this-has-everything aisle. 

Words to the Characters:

Thursday: You know that guy? He just doesn't seem right for you. And what do you have against first names anyway? Landen is the only first name you ever used in the whole narrative. 

Jack: Geez, do you have to be so mean about it? 

Hades: Okay, I really want to know, how do you do it???????!!!!!!!!!

Okay, I'm done here, I might post later today just because I'm already half way done with a really great book, and with love still so fresh in the air, it'd be great to have a good dystopia to balance out the air quality. 

Xxxxxx X. Xxxxxx
Anonymous Book Reviewer. 

Sunday, February 10, 2013

I've Never Been In A Void Before, But It Sounds Fun!!!!

Helllloooooo!!!!!!! It is great to see you again after all this time. I don't even remember the last time I posted. I'm lying, I actually do remember, I just don't know the number of the day! Well, it's the tenth now, I'll try to remember that for next time! Tenth, tenth, tenth. I'm probably going to forget that. Anyways, would you like to talk about books? That questions was just formality; don't answer, I won't be able to hear you.

So, I just finished this book called The Void of Mist and Thunder forth and final installment of The 13th Reality series, written by the increasingly popular James Dashner. I think I've reviewed two books by him on my blog, let me check...Actually it's only one, but I've read all of James Dashner's works except for five! I think he's pretty awesome. Alrighty, last part of this paragraph, the Amazon link! Here you go: Right here is where you will find it!

Summaryish: Alrighty, this is going to be super super duper super difficult to summarize for two reasons that are kind of the same reason in a not the same kind of way. Reason #1: This is the last of a four book series, and I cannot reveal the secrets of books 1-3 or book 4! Reason #2: It's been over a year since I read the other books in the series. So...oh I have an idea! I'll just tell you about this book without telling anything about the others. So after the Blade of Shattered Hope scarred Jane for life, (Woops, I mentioned the penultimate book! Sorry!!) the Forth Dimension started making tears in the Fabric of Reality and seeping into all the other worlds, releasing dangerous fog creatures as it does and destroying the whole world. Yup, that about sums it up. 

Review: I'm having mixed feelings about this book. On the one hand, it was epic and nicely written. But on the other hand, my attention kept wandering and the last sentence of every scene change was structured the same, and that got a little too repetitive. But I really liked the story! I loved how it was a little like magic, but everything was scientifically explained. The ending was really great, in a "Snap, it's over?" kind of way. 

Words to the Characters: 

Sofia: You are my favourite character of the whole series not including Mothball. So really, your my second favourite. I was sad when you weren't very noticeable in the series. I mean, I can count all your lines with one and a half hands. Not cool.

Paul: You make me laugh so much!! 

Tick: So...Karma, huh? Nice. 

Jane: I don't see why everyone thinks your so evil. Okay, trying to kill a whole Reality is kind of evil, but other than that you seem like a nice person!! 

Okay, that's all for now. See y'all next time for an alternant history sci-fi thing. Bye!

Xxxxxx X. Xxxxxx
Anonymous Book Reviewer. 

Tuesday, February 5, 2013

Yes, I'd Like To Order Excalibur Please...

Hey everybody! I'm back again to tell you about another great book!! I hope you a re as excited as I am! I seriously doubt that, though, when I get excited I don't cut corners!! I'm actually bouncing in my seat right now! But, I have to admit that I am jealous of the fact that you get to read this without knowing exactly what's going to happen next. Blasphemous horses are stealing my hermit crab! See, you didn't see that coming did you? But I planned it, so you are actually very lucky.

So, I just finished reading this book called Time Snatchers by Richard Ungar. Tragically, it is not a series, but happily, here is the amazon link: Voila!  See!!! I can remember sometimes!! Ohh! And here's something cool, there is a trailer for this book! If you want to watch it, it's somewhere around here. The music is nice on this. I especially like how at the end, the music goes away, but the ticking stays! Nice!

Summaryish: So, as you've no doubt figured out with all the links up there, this book is about an orphan named Caleb who was kidnapped at a young age by Uncle to steal things from the past so he can sell them to high-paying patrons of the future. But he's not the only one, there are four other time snatchers, including Frank --Caleb's enemy. He keeps stealing Caleb's snatches to earn Uncle's favour! And then Zach comes in the picture and it all goes down hill from there...but in a climactic way, which is actually kind of weird if you think about it. That's all I can summarize today, and I am definitely getting better at it too! Huzzah!

Review: Okay, this book was pretty great! At first, I was having a little trouble identifying the conflict, but I was still thoroughly enjoying the story. But then I met Zach and I was like "Oh! There's the conflict!" I can pretty much summarize this review in one word: Awesomazing. It's a word of my own devising. Tell your friends. And the ending was just so right! I have found that it is very very rare when an ending is just so right that it leaves you wanting more but in a way that is totally satisfied and complete. 

Words to the Characters:

Abbie: Well aren't you just one big mysterious puzzle. I have to admit; I never really did believe a word you said until, like, 12 pages before the end.

Frank: So, does the whole ear situation put you off balance? In case you couldn't tell, I was being sarcastic, and the meaning behind that sentence was that I don't like you very much. No offence.

Phoebe: You are my favourite character! Welcome to my List of Memorable Characters! Way to go being awesome!

Caleb: The whole desert scene made me laugh...I know it was dramatic and all, but I couldn't help it!

Zach: You are so cute, the way you mispronounce things, but there is still one word that I don't understand at all. Help me out a little?

Okay, that's all for today. Any books you'd like me to read? Don't be shy, just throw a title my way, and I'll see if it looks interesting! Bye!

Xxxxxx X. Xxxxxx
Anonymous Book Reviewer. 


Saturday, February 2, 2013

Wow. Just Wow. (Redux)

You knew this would happen again, right? That there couldn't be just one book on this blog too spectacular to review? Well, in case you didn't already know that, it's happened again. Sorry. No summaryish today. No review. No words for the characters. Just this one lonely little paragraph. Just a title : Insignia. Just an author: S.J. Kincaid. Just an amazon link: here. Just...OH SNAP IT'S A TRILOGY!!!!!!!! YES! ... a signature...

Xxxxxx X. Xxxxxx
Anonymous Book Reviewer. 

Friday, February 1, 2013

I Have A Secret To Tell You...I'm From A Different Planet.

Good afternoon!!! I promised two posts today, and here I am, making good on that promise! I wish I could blog twice everyday! But I'm not that good a reader! Anyways, I've got a good review coming your way, what a wild book this was! Here I go...

So, I just finished this book called The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy by Douglas Adams. Originally, this was a radio comedy. You know, way back in the 70's when TV didn't exist...Anyways, then it was turned into a book, then a whole series of five books! Then...I can barely type it...Eoin Colfer (There, I typed it) wrote a sixth installment. I realize that I have been neglecting to include Amazon links these last couple posts, here, I'll include this one twice...Here, and Here

Summaryish: Er...Umm...Does this book even have a plot?? Yes it does! I remember now! It's about this guy named Arthur Dent and his friend Ford. But, what Arthur doesn't know is that his friend is not human, but an alien from another planet somewhere in the vicinity of Betelgeuse and he is researching for the next edition of The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy. Anyways, while some other race of aliens is busy destroying Earth, Arthur is rescued by Ford and they go off into space and have adventures that lead up to the Answer to Life, the Universe, and Everything. And for all of you out there who make it to page 148 without spontaneously combusting, I happen to own a cheap green clicker ballpoint. I asked it if had ever had a chauffeur on a different planet...it remained silent and refused to speak to me for the rest of the night.

Review: I do not pretend to understand all the scientific stuff happening in this book, nor do I pretend to hate that part, because I loved it! Every last bit of it, even the parts I didn't understand because it made me laugh! I kind of like to be confused, the little tingly feeling you get in the back of your head when you have no idea what's going on...it's nice if you don't think about it too hard. I like how this book makes you think, of different planets, improbabilities, and especially the number 42. A splendid work, if a little random (but in a good way.)

Words to the Characters:

Arthur: I would have reacted the same exact way if my brain were threatened. 

Ford: I really know where my towel is too! It's upstairs. See? I told you I knew where it was.

Zaphod: I like your mellowness, it kept me from panicking through most of the journey.

All done for today! I know, I'm sad too, but at least we got two posts today!!!

Xxxxxx X. Xxxxxx
Anonymous Book Reviewer. 

I Wonder What Faction I Would Get?

Hello everyone! I'm awful. I am completely and totally awful. Partly because of the redundancy of that sentence, and partly because I was supposed to blog three days ago. To make it up to you, I'm going to blog twice today. And depending on how good the book I'm reading now is, maybe three times. I doubt that though, I'm only on page 60 of a four hundred and something page book. Anyways...

So, I just finished -Well, more like finished four days ago - this book called Divergent by Veronica Roth. It is the first in what I believe is a planned trilogy, though only the first and second books are out. The second one is called Insurgent and it must be good, since there are 84 holds on it at my library!! Okay, it's officially 85 holds now!!

Summaryish: Ah, geez, this part again....hmmm...This is so hard! Okay, I'm ready. So this book is about a future Chicago where the world is divided into five "factions" or groups who are devoted to one trait because they believe lack of said trait is what caused the world to be so bad. I'll let you figure out what they are and what they are devoted to. But, there is one thing...What if you don't belong to any of those groups? What if you are...dare I say it?...Divergent. Anyways, this book is also about a girl named Beatrice Prior who is Divergent and has to hide it because everyone else things Divergents are rebels or something. And then some stuff happens, involving jumping of a train and throwing knives...then one of the factions does something against a different faction...That's all I can say. 

Review: You know, it makes a lot of sense that my fantastic aunt would recommend a fantastic book to me, and boy was this book fantastic!! I just love first person books! I also love science fiction! Putting them together really made my day! Well, three days if you want to get all technical. It was close to torture when I had to turn my light out and get some sleeping done, and even more torturous when I couldn't get my sleeping done because I was thinking about the book making turning my light out completely pointless.

Words to the Characters:

Tris:  I'd probably be Divergent too, I'm not good at any of those other faction traits.

Four: Hmmm...What's going on in your head? I'm curious now.

Tobiatris:  Y'all are cute together and all, but sheesh, stop kissing so much. It's annoying.  

Okay, that's all for now. I'll be posting again today later. Maybe right after this. Maybe after lunch...Hmmm...Lunch...Gotta go!!

Xxxxxx X. Xxxxxx
Anonymous Book Reviewer.