Tuesday, April 30, 2013

If I Were An Android...I Don't Know What I'd Do.

Hello everyone! I know, it's been a day. I said I was going to post this yesterday, but I ended up not doing that because I was still thinking about whether this book was not good enough to not review. I decided to review it. I think mostly because I just like blogging so much! Let's jump right into it!

So, the book that was almost good enough to not review is called Mila 2.0, debut novel of Debra Driza. And, if you want to trust the jacket flap, it's the first of a trilogy! Exciting, isn't it? I wonder what the series title is. I think I'll refer to it as the Mila Trilogy. Anyways, you know you want it - here it is! By the way, that's an Amazon link. 

Summaryish: Okay, I just realized something. I've been slaving away to write a nice summary that won't give anything away, but still effectively describes the novel, and look! There's a perfectly nice summary on the jacket flap or back cover of every book!! Wait just a minute. If I use those summaries, it would be plagiarism! Something I am STRONGLY against! It's a crime! And I don't want to go to jail! So I'm just going to say that this book is about a girl who finds out her whole life is a lie, she's an experiment, and the CIA is after her. Then there are all these fun tests!!! 

Review: Oh. My. Snap. You know me, when I so oh my snap - you know it's good. And trust me, it was. Read my first paragraph, I almost didn't review it! I must admit, though, at first, I was a little like "Aw man, this book is going to be about horses isn't it?" But then, BAM! It turns out it's a fantastic read about anything but horses! I loved it! It was nicely paced, and I could really connect with Mila. Definitely reserve at the library.

Words to the Characters: 

Mila: Don't worry, just because you're a robot doesn't mean you aren't awesome! In fact, robots are really really really awesome. I mean, look at Mr. Data on Next Gen, does he look not awesome to you? Didn't think so.

Holland: Dude, you need some help.

Okay, I'm done here. I hope you enjoyed my review! See you next time in a few days! The book I'm reading now is over 500 pages! Woooo! 

Xxxxxx X. Xxxxxx
Anonymous Book Reviewer. 

Monday, April 29, 2013

I Feel Like a Carbonated Beverage That Someone Has Shaken Relentlessly.


Hello fellow book fanatics!! How very nice to see you! I'm still buzzing about the Wayne Thomas Batson Acknowledgement thing!!! It's just so exciting! My favourite author putting my blog in his book!! I can't wait!  Anyways, two posts are happening today! Well, one for sure, I'm still thinking about the other one. I can't decide if it's too good to review or not. Hmm. Anyways, I'm going to get right into it now!

So, a few days ago, actually a long time ago, I finished this book called Crashed by Robin Wasserman of the Skinned trilogy. It's also known as Shattered of the Cold Awakening Trilogy. Either way, it's book two. I reviewed the first book here, so we're on our way to having ANOTHER entire series review on this blog! Happy day! If you would like to own a copy, I would suggest clicking here IMMEDIATELY! Well, not exactly immediately, you can click whenever you want. I just wanted to add a little drama to this post.

Summaryish: Perhaps it would not be wise to summarize today. I mean, it is the second in a series, and I don't want to give away what happened in the first book. But I guess I have to. Or I can completely ignore the first book and just talk about the second. Okay, I'll go with that. So Lia is finally accepting her life as a mech when things go drastically wrong. Her former best friend is testifying against her, (Not in court, just in public) some terrorists blow some stuff up, she's on the run from the law, and all sorts of unpleasant things. Anyways, as her world is crumbling around her, she tries her hardest to save all the other mechs from termination. The end.

Review: Okay, this book way pretty great, although not one of my favourites. Something about it failed to hold my attention, and sometimes I realized I wasn't reading at all, just staring at the ceiling. (I have a really nice ceiling) But other times, I was totally engrossed and flipping pages like a madman. So, all in all, I give this book a B+ for originality, compelling-ness, and style. But I give it a D+ for cover art, not my style. I prefer colorful covers without people on them. I don't know why, though. I just do.

Words to the Characters:

Lia: Your one fault is that you don't seem passionate enough. Maybe you should fix that.

Auden: So even though you got all mean and embittered, you're still my favourite character.

That's all for right now! I need to continue thinking about whether my next post will actually be a post, or a non-post post of unpostfulness. Bye!

Xxxxxx X. Xxxxxx
Anonymous Book Reviewer.   

Thursday, April 25, 2013

And In This Corner, Weighing In At A Staggering Two Ounces....This Book!

Hey everyone!! I'm still buzzing from all the excitement of the last post! But this post is going to be a little different from all my other ones, I'm still going to have Words to the Characters instead of a Page By Page Commentary, but something will be different! I'm tired of this paragraph, on with the post!

So, I just finished this book called Pastworld by Ian Beck, I don't think it's part of a series, it had a pretty ended ending! Oo, this book has a trailer! I just watched it, it has some pretty rough acting in it, but if you want to see it, it's here. I feel like I'm forgetting something...Oh yes! The Amazon link!! Here, you can have it. This paragraph is over.

Summaryish: Alrighty, this book is an easy one to describe, but since I'm bad at this part, I'll do my best. So the year is 2048, and London has been remade into theme park called Pastworld, which is a recreation of Victorian London, and, sadly, that means a lot of murder. It also means Eve, a young lady who doesn't know that she's in a theme park, is being hunted by one of those murderers. Also, a young man's daddy just got kidnapped by the same murderer. Seeing any suspicious connections? I sure am. But, then, I've already read the book, haven't I?

Review: This is where the post gets deviaty-from-the-normy. Why? Because I didn't like the book. Sure it was actiony and suspensy, but that doesn't always constitute a fantastic read. It was well-written, sure, but I didn't like it very much. My attention wandered, and sometimes I'd have to flip back and see what I missed. Other times I was just plain bored. But I am planning to put another Ian Beck on my list, because I like to give authors a fair chance to impress and hook me. Who knows how it will turn out? 

Words to the Characters: 

Caleb: In this book, you seem really dazed and out of it, I'm sorry I couldn't get to know you better. Maybe that was a reason I disliked this book?

Eve: Wow, rocking the tight-rope. I should do that, it looks fun!

Okay, post equals done. For today at least, I'll be back soon with a Robin Wasserman!! Bye!

Xxxxxx X. Xxxxxx
Anonymous Book Reviewer.

Sunday, April 21, 2013

I Cannot Contain My Excitement, I Might Spontaneously Combust!

OH MY SNAP I'M SO EXCITED!!! Time for the great news!!!!!! Wayne Thomas Batson is re-releasing his trilogy, The Door Within! All three books are coming out AGAIN on May 7th. Major coincidence: The same day The Savage Blue comes out! But here's what I think is the best part of the news: Because I said the above announcement, MY NAME or at least the 13 Xes that mark the spot of my name, is going to be on the Acknowledgements page of his newest book! Ohmysnapohmysnapohmysnap, I'm so excited! My most favorite author in the world (No offence anyone else) is going to know that my blog exists. Anyways, book time.

So, I just finished this book called School's Out - Forever by James Patterson. Here's some good news! It's the second in the Maximum Ride series! It took me a while to get it, too, because it's so popular. But not so long that I read the first book BB, in fact, here is where you can find where I reviewed the first book! The Amazon link is located right about here. I'm going to warn you ahead of time: Something in this post is going to deviate from the trodden path. I just wanted to warn you so you don't get a heart attack. 

Summaryish: This book is all about the continuing saga of Maximum Ride, Human-Bird Mutant Extraordinaire, and the rest of the Flock. In this installment of their epic life, the Flock find a home, not just a house or shelter, but a home. With a nice lady, plenty of food, and even school. A real school, not an evil School with a capital S. Anyways, then its all yanked away and some interesting stuff that I cannot tell you about because of devious little spoilers which I am completely against.

Review: This book was great! It was written in first person, my favourite perspective, and I really got to know Max. I feel like she's my friend, and that made the book even better than it actually was. It was also really well-written and actiony! Suspenseful! Great plot! Nice characters! I didn't want to put it down! But when the words start blurring together on the page, and your eye lids start drooping, you just gotta. I don't know what else to say.

Words to the Characters.  

Here's the part that I'm mixing up, instead of Words to the Characters, I'm going to have a page-by-page commentary. (Don't worry, not ALL the pages.)

Page 1: I'm so excited!

Page 45: So far so good!

Page 90: Umm...Okay, this book just lost a touch of it's awesomeness, but I'll go with it. 

Page 241: Ha! I knew it. 

Page 256: I knew that too. 

Page 281-283: GameBoy is one word, isn't it? 

Page 297: Umm...I'll go with that too.

Page 344: Things just got good...

Page 399: Snap it's over? Wow...It 12:50 AM, I should probably turn off my light. 

Okay, I'm done!!! Okay, it's starting to sink in that WAYNE THOMAS BATSON!!!! Is going to put my Xes into his book....Eep!

Xxxxxx X. Xxxxxx
Anonymous Book Reviewer. 

I'm Starting To Think It Wouldn't Matter What Faction I Would Get.


Hello everybody!! So nice to see you all!!! I have two whole books to blog about today! I've decided that most of the time, I'm just going to wait and blog twice in one day. Hmm...I think I've said that already, like, two posts ago? I don't know. Okay. I have an announcement to make, but I can't decide whether to tell you about it this post, or next post.  Since this paragraph is getting long, I'll just save the awesomazing-fantastic-super-de-duper news until next posts. Yes, I'm just building suspense. Book time!

So, I just finished this book entitled Insurgent by the world famous Veronica Roth! You've probably already guessed this, but it is the second book in what I like to call the -gent series. Officially, though, I think it's called the Divergent Trilogy. I reviewed the first book in the series right about here. And if you would like to purchase the book, you can either Google it, or do the easy thing and click here.

Summaryish: Okay, little warning here, DO NOT READ THIS IF YOU HAVE NOT YET EXPERIENCED DIVERGENT!!!!! It is important to your emotional well-being and physical health. INSURGENT SUMMARY BEGINS NOW. So after the simulation the Erudite created that made the Dauntless destroy Abnegation, Tris and the rest of the loyal Dauntless are hiding out in Amity. (I really hope you're not reading this people who haven't read Divergent) But when they discover the Erudite are still plotting the downfall of other factions to get some important information, they go to Candor, then do some stuff, then more stuff happens and then BAM the ending sneaks up on you like a...like a...Hmm. I can't think of a simile. LIKE A CAT! Cat's are sneaky right?

PEOPLE WHO HAVE NOT READ DIVERGENT MAY NOW BEGIN READING.  

Review: Wowzers! I really really really enjoyed this book! And like Mrs. Roth herself always says, "The only thing I can say is: !!!" Some parts I could have done without, but I guess those same parts added depth to the story. But still, YUCK! I liked how there was a lot of action and plenty of suspense! It was expertly balanced!! I loved it! Oh, and by the way, the next and last book in the Allegiant!! I'm so excited! I think it comes out sometime in October? Wow, that is a long way away...

Words to the Characters:

Tobias: So what's with the whole "Don't risk your life for no reason" thing? I mean, she wasn't risking her life for no reason, she was just trying to feel useful and figure out something that's important to her. It wasn't very nice of you to make her feel bad. 

Christina: Great job!!!! (I won't say for what, spoilers, but you know what I'm talking about.)

That's all for this post! I'll be back later for the next one for today AND the amazing news!!!! Bye!

Xxxxxx X. Xxxxxx
Anonymous Book Reviewer. 

Thursday, April 18, 2013

That Happens To Me Allllll The Time.

Hello world! Nice to see you! Isn't it so fitting that I'm reviewing this book on a Thursday? "What book is that, 13-Xes?" you may be asking. Well, I'll tell you in the next paragraph. Just be patient, I promise I will tell you in just one paragraph. We're getting closer, just hang in there. Almost...Almost...Just a little longer....done.

So, I just finished this book called Lost in a Good Book by Jasper Fforde, of the Thursday Next series. See? I told you I would tell you. And now the fact that I'm reviewing this on a Thursday being fitting makes sense to you doesn't it? Moving on. I reviewed the first book in the series here, and will probably be reviewing the next book in the series soon! Anyways, if you want to purchase it, try clicking here. And upon failing to get to the Amazon page, click here instead.

Summaryish: Okay, this book's summaryish is going to be a doozy. Let me think for a second. How about you play solitaire or free cell while you wait? (Insert Jeopardy music) Okay, I got it! After recently defeated her arch enemy Archeron Hades and imprisoning her other arch enemy in Poe's "The Raven," Thursday Next is the target of several coincidental revenge attempts. Also, in an effort to release Jack Schitt from the poem, Goliath Corporation blackmails Ms. Next. In addition, her time-traveling father alerts her to a global catastrophe in the near future. So, she must save the world, learn to bookjump, shake some rice and lentils, and defeat several bad guys all before this book ends. I don't know about you, but I'd be tired after all that. In fact, my fingers are sore just from typing it. 

Review: I absolutely ADORE this book! It has action, comedy, more action, dodos, and everything else a good book needs! It sounds kind of like a Douglas Adams when you read it, but just a little bit less wacky-nutty. I wouldn't change one thing about it! It's a fantastic read for those nights when it's really cold, because the constant laughter will keep you warm with or without fleece blankets! 

Words to the Characters:

Thursday: I'm still noticing a weird lack of first names. What do you have against first names? I use them all the time, Thursday. Sorry about Landen by the way. And about how Cordelia was bugging you. 

Thursday's Daddy: How nice of you! Thanks by the way.

Okay. This is officially the end of this blog post. Or if you want to get all portmanteau about it, this is the end of this blost

Xxxxxx X. Xxxxxx
Anonymous Book Reviewer.

Saturday, April 13, 2013

FBI, If You're Reading This...Hi!!!!


Hello again everyone! So, laundry didn't take as long as I thought, and now I'm back blogging again!! If you are confused, scroll down and read my last post, it'll clear things up for you. Okay, okay, I admit it, I just wanted you to read my other post because I love it when people read my blog. So thanks to all you book fanatics out there checking out my blog. I now have over 700 page views coming from 20 different countries. You know who you are, so I won't include the list of all those countries. Anyways, books.

So, yesterday I finished reading this book called I, Q Book Three: Kitty Hawk by Roland Smith. The Amazon link is located here! The title is not to be confused with "IQ" as in "Intelligence Quotient." It is "I, Q" as in "I, Q, do so solemnly swear..." Or "I, Q, am a boy whose name is actually Quest." My confusion of the exact thing above is what made me pick up the first book in the series in the first place. I was hoping it would be a nice science fiction tale maybe about someone with an outstanding IQ and needed to save the world or something. Imagine my surprise when I found out it was about....

Summaryish: ....a boy with a singer for a mom, and another singer for a step-dad and a step-sister whose real mom is a terrorist. Hey, I wonder if the FBI is looking at my blog now because I said the word terrorist. (Hello FBI! Welcome to my blog! Don't worry - it's harmless!) Anyways, I don't really remember much about the first two books in the series because I read them in 2011, which was 2 years ago. I do remember that Quest is a magician, his real dad is a little crazy, and he's been involved in several secret missions for the government along with a group called SOS and his step sister Angela. This time around, the president's daughter has been kidnapped. And that's all I'm going to say...

Review: Okay, I really enjoyed this book! It was really short, just over 200 pages, but luckily that didn't make it bad. I like how Mr. Smith has brought in characters from one of his other series books StormRunners and brought them over to this series! I love it when authors do that, especially when it's a surprise! The story was great, just actiony enough that my attention was held, but not too actiony that I was overwhelmed. Some parts were just people following other people, but somehow it was still incredibly captivating. 

Words to the Characters: 

Q: I like how your name is just one letter, that's pretty neat.

Boone: Snap, who are you???

That's it for today! I'm reading a great book now, but since it's the last book in my pile I have to slow down to read it, so I don't know when I'll be back! Bye!

Xxxxxx X. Xxxxxx
Anonymous Book Reviewer.  

Okay, I'm Really Tired of Being Dizzy.

Hello everyone! I've been bad. Again. I haven't blogged in AGES! But the good news is I have two books to review today! I have deducted that I usually blog twice in the same day, so when you are looking at my blog, you should check to see if you've missed any reviews. Because you don't want to go to the library and get a bad book that I could have warned you against, and you also don't want to go to the library and skip over an awesome book that I have recommended. That wouldn't be nice at all, would it? Anyways, let's get started!

So, a few days ago I closed James Dashner's book The Kill Order prequel to the Maze Runner series, most of which I have reviewed before. Right about here is the link to the last time I reviewed a Maze Runner, and inside of that there should be a link to the first part (which was actually the second) of the series I reviewed. And right about here you will find an Amazon link. And right about here is where this paragraph ends. 

Summaryish: Alrighty, so this book is about a guy named Mark and his friends Alec, Lana, and Trina and their lives after the Sun Flares. Well, at least for the first couple of pages it's about that. After chapter one, it turns into a book about where the deadly disease that ravaged the world when Thomas was saving it, The Flare came from, how it mutated, why it was made. Stuff like that. Also, it's about how the friends mentioned above fight for survival in a place where Cranks are all, like, crazy and cannibalistic. Wow, short summary. Well, it was short book, only 327 pages, so it makes sense.

Review: This book definitely could have been better. It had a lot to live up to, but instead of doing just that, it kind of lived, I don't know, next to.My attention was barely kept during this book. That's not to say it was a bad book of course. I think it just needed a stronger story line. Another thing: There were fights on like every other page, and that got a little boring. Normally I like a good showdown, but too many too close together just gets boring and then you start thinking "Gee, who dies this time around?" Yeah, that about it.

Words to the Characters: 

Deedee: I'm getting the weirdest feeling that later you become Teresa, am I right? 

Mark and co.: Is being crazy anything like being me? I'm probably going to go insane soon, so I just want to know if much is going to change. 

Oky doky, that's all for this post. I have another book to review today, but I won't do that until later because I have to do my laundry. Hmm...Was that too personal for an anonymous blog? Oh well!

Xxxxxx X. Xxxxxx
Anonymous Book Reviewer.

Tuesday, April 9, 2013

I Just Can't Stop Laughing!!! Is That Bad?

Hey everyone! So I didn't post yesterday like I thought I would and in fact should have, but I'm posting now, only one day after I said I would, so we're cool, right? Anyways, I've got a really good book for you today. I should probably start the "So" paragraph now...Here I go!

So, I just finished this book called Life, The Universe and Everything by none other than Douglas Adams! And I'm pretty sure you know this is part of the Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy trilogy of five books! Book three if I am not mistaken! Pretty exiting. Next up is...er...um...I actually don't remember, but I know we're not up to Mostly Harmless yet, there's one before that...So Long, and Thanks for All The Fish! I remember now. Okay, I didn't remember, I looked it up. Anyways, Amazon link can be found here! Kidding! Here

Summaryish: Okay...I think I might be able to pull this off...In the latest wild and crazy and highly improbable adventure of Arthur and the gang, Ford and Arthur are rescued from prehistoric Earth by a couch and then a flying Italian bistro. On which they learn that, yet again, they have to save the Universe. This time from a bunch of white robots that are trying to free their Masters from the planet Krikkit, The inhabitants of said planet long to be alone in the Universe and will do anything, including annihilating the galaxy, to succeed in that goal. The End. 

Review: What can I say about this book other than laughing hysterically which isn't really saying anything at all? Oo! I know! I can say...Aw man, I lost it. Oh well. I'll just say that this was a fantastic read and should be either checked out or purchased by everyone in the world!! There's not really much more I can say, it's impossible to add anything to Douglas Adams. 

Words to the Characters: 

Ford and Arthur: Y'all are best friends right? It's kind of hard to tell because Ford, you seem to ignore and confuse Arthur. And Arthur, you seem to annoy Ford to no end. Weird relationship you have there.

Trillian: Wow, good skills of observation. 

Okay, so long and thanks for all the fish, everyone! Not that I'm secretly a dolphin and the world is about to be destroyed by Vogons or anything.

Xxxxxx X. Xxxxxx
Anonymous Book Reviewer. 


Sunday, April 7, 2013

What Was I Going To Title This Again? I Forgot.

Hello everyone...again! It's been a few seconds, and, as predicted, I am already deep into this post! Huh. I can't really think of anything else to talk about in this paragraph. Weird. Usually I'm good at rambling on and on about nothing whatsoever, and people get annoyed and walk away while I'm still talking to someone, so I continue the conversation with just myself and the air around me. Anyways, blog.

So, I just finished this book called Prism by two authors, Faye and Aliza Kellerman. Aliza is Faye's daughter and they worked together on this book. Bonding. Always a good thing, especially on the molecular level. Unless of course you're bonding a giraffe and a duck. Not pretty. Anyways, I have hidden away the Amazon link into a place so minuscule and disguised that you'll never find it. So ha! 

Summaryish: Okay, this book is about a girl with purple hair going on a school trip. Sounds boring, right? Wrong. Because there is a car crash and dimension change, and now she and two others are trapped in a world where all health care is non-existent. People there are forced to suffer in silence or else be taken away and left to die in a special, but not at all pleasant, disease-ridden city. That's pretty much it, you'll have to figure the rest out yourself.

Review: Okay, technically, this book had everything it needed to make it successful. An intriguing plot, likable characters, nice imagery, and, you know, it's a book. But there was something about it, something small that I can't quite explain that made me dislike it. I don't even know what it is. Maybe the authors' voices? Maybe the tone? Maybe the copyright page? I don't know. But just something made it...bleh. But not in a way that I don't recommend it, which is weird, because I do recommend it. Crazy, I know, but with me, anything's possible. 

Words to the Characters: 

Kaida: So, um, how's that working out for you? 

Joy: Your name is a little ironic, but in a good way.

Zeke: Actually, I can't think of anything to say to you. Sorry.

Oi, I don't know about you, but I am blogged out! See you, I don't know, tomorrow? 

Xxxxxx X. Xxxxxx
Anonymous Book Reviewer. 

Just So You Know, It's Pronounced Zor-eye-duh.

Hello everyone!!! Have I been slacking, or what? First of all, I didn't get to go to the library until six days after I ran out of books!! Then when I finished the book I'm reviewing now, I was already half way done with a different book so I thought, why not wait and do them both at once? Then yesterday I forgot to blog because I was so crazy-busy. But I'm blogging twice today, so it's all good. I might even blog a third time, but it depends on how long it takes to blog right now so I can go and read the book I'm reviewing next-next. Don't worry, I'm confused too. 

So, a few days ago I finished this book called The Vicious Deep by Zoraida Cordova. It is the first book in a series, and the second one, The Savage Blue, is coming out May 7th!!!!!! I'm sooo excited! We'll talk more about this in the review paragraph. Anyways, one last little thing for this paragraph, the Amazon link!! Okay, so you know how this blog is a world wide sensation reaching hundreds of people in 20 different countries? Well, do all countries get Amazon, or just America? Should I think about not giving Amazon links because it wouldn't be nice to some of my readers who can't use it? 

Summaryish: Oi veh, I don't think I can do this, telling you one thing about this book would give away the whole thing. Okay, I'll start with there's a tidal wave. Just a small one. And Tristan gets sucked into the ocean and some stuff happens. Then he finds out...dare I give it away? Okay, it's actually obvious, so maybe it'll be fine. Then he finds out that he's not only a mermaid but heir to the Sea Throne. But before he can claim that throne, he has to go on this crazy huge adventure battling other people who want the throne, and then the book ends. Then I scream at the top of my lungs for the next one and, upon not receiving it, start the next book in my pile.

Review: After the first two chapters, this book had made my top twenty. It completely wiped Gordon Korman right off my list. Welcome, Zoraida, to my Official List of Awesome Authors. I mean, wow. I really loved this novel, and will probably cry myself to sleep every night until I can read the second one. Bravo, huzzah, and all that jazz.

Words to the Characters:

Tristan: You can really be mean sometimes, but I guess all-in-all, you're pretty okay.

Layla: Every time I see your name, I'm thinking Sky High.  

Kurt: You know what would be good for you? Smiling. It's scientifically proven that smiles make you feel good.

Alrighty, in a few seconds I will be deep into another post, so it really doesn't make sense to say goodbye.

Xxxxxx X. Xxxxxx
Anonymous Book Reviewer.