Yay, It's Time For The Joke!

Hey world! Aren't you excited about the joke coming up in the next paragraph? You only have a few more sentences to wait. Now that I think about it, it's not really a joke at all, just something I find quite amusing. It's not really ha-ha funny, more like well-lookey-there funny. Almost there....just a little longer...IT'S TIME!

So, I just finished this book called Altered by Gennifer Albin, book two in the Crewel World Trilogy, in which the third book is up and coming! Like, into the world, not on my blog. Now for the funny thing...I just reviewed a book called Altered two posts ago!! Isn't that amazing! Different books about completely different things, and yet, they have the same title. I just think that's funny. Anyways, Amazon link. 

Summaryish: Okay, if you haven't read the first book, you can go away now. I hope that didn't sound rude. After escaping the Guild and falling to the earth below, Adelice, Erik, and Jost find that the world described to them is nothing like it actually is, and before they know it, they're embroiled in a scheme that could either save or destroy the barely real reality above them. If you haven't noticed, I can't remember how to spell it. That's all I feel like telling you about it.

Review: This one wasn't as amazing as the first book, but it is a sequel and as aforementioned, I have grace for those. It was captivating and fast, but also it was very predictable. Not clichéd, but...predictable. Almost as if things were overly foreshadowed, but there still were some surprise leaps, which satisfied me just enough to keep me reading. So, while being a great book, there's always room for improvement.

Words to the Characters:

Adelice: Wow, it takes you a long time to figure things out...

Jost: Stop acting so surprised and hurt, you practically stepped on her feet, dude.

Erik: Thank you for at least trying, you get bonus points.

Okay, I'm going to review the last one tomorrow, because I have nothing to do tomorrow. 

Xxxxxx X. Xxxxxx
Anonymous Book Reviewer.

I Was Hoping To Come Up With Something Witty For The Title, But I Can't.

Hey world! Post number two commence! I ate lunch, had a nice conversation, and I didn't even start my puzzle! Though I did leave my current book open on the floor...I can see it from where I'm sitting. But I'll stay strong! Even though it's a really good part. Even though the fate of the world hangs in the balance...This is really hard. But I can do it.

So, sometime in the past, because I'm certain it wasn't the future, I finished this book called Entice by one of our favorite Australian authors, Jessica Shirvington. It's book two in the Embrace series of what I believe is five books and maybe a short or two, though I think those shorts are unofficial blog posts. Bet you want an Amazon link, huh? There's an audible, but I'm not listening to it, because I'm trying to be quick because I've got somewhere to be, a movie to watch, and a book to finish. 

Summaryish: Remember, no reading this if you haven't read the first book in the series. After the battle at Hades (which is a bar, not, like, River Styx.) Violet begins her training as the half human, half angel Grigori that she is. But, of course, things get chaotic when they uncover the plans of the exiles to find the Scriptures with the names of every Grigori EVER (which would be awful in their hands). So, uncovering secrets about her life and her future, Violet must do some pretty dangerous things I can't tell you about.

Review: This is a good book and all, with a nice plot line, great characters, and an awesome battle between good and evil, not to mention the crazy inner struggles that always make a book wonderful, but there were a bunch of boring things happening. There was also a lot of stuff that was a little overdone, drama-wise. I mean, yeash. But I still liked it. It's not the absolute best book I've ever read, but I have sympathy for sequels - they're tough. I'm sure the next book in the series will be even better than this one, because this one was great. 

Words to the Characters:

Violet: Stop blaming yourself, at least you learned a lesson.

Lincoln: Quit blaming her, she only walked away because you lied to her. (Yes, not telling the whole truth is a full blown lie.)

Okay, that's two down! Next one up, the one where I tell the joke!

Xxxxxx X. Xxxxxx
Anonymous Book Reviewer.

I'm Going To Tell a Joke Just Two Posts From Now.

Hey world! Guess who's here after way too long? Me!!! I couldn't help the long pause between posts, though, I keep reading, and I'm learning to program, and I just got a new puzzle, and and and. I haven't started the puzzle yet, that's just a little heads up. Double-sided, 1000 pieces, has a little banner across the top that talks about how the artist paid special attention to its complex detail...should be fun. Anyways, I've got, like, four books to review today, and I haven't eaten lunch yet, so I better get started!

So, way too long ago (at least a week), I finished this book called Altered by Jennifer Rush. It is book one in a series with four books with publication dates so far (one of those dates is in the future, another one of which is a prequel that came out after numero uno), and it is also that last book in my Sci-fi Series.I have a funny about the title, but that's still two posts away. Last for this paragraph, the Amazon link!

Summaryish: I have a song stuck in my head. This is going to be hard to write. But, my dearest insert-name-here, I shall power through the inescapable rhythm just for you. There are four boys living in glass rooms in Anna's basement. (I just sneezed.) It didn't take long for her to figure out that they're just a little bit more than human, and that their stories are a lot more complicated than they let on. And then they escape and take her with them. (Of course they do, otherwise it wouldn't be a very good book.) On the run from the furious Branch, they struggle to figure just what is going on (did I mention their memories aren't the best?), and totally disregard the law. End.

Review: This was a wild-ride from start to finish, and I enjoyed pretty much every second of the short time I gripped the pages! There were a few minor calm parts, but they were perfectly balanced with the action! I was especially impressed by the distinct personalities of the characters. Usually, with this many main characters, it's hard to keep everyone straight, but Ms. Rush seems to be a master at characterization and keeping the adrenaline pumping. Genetic manipulation is pretty difficult to make fresh and exciting these days, (although I rarely complain about genetic manipulation whether it's hackneyed or not), and now that I think about it, this wasn't exactly a just-broke-the-plastic-wrap story, but it had just enough suspense and new ideas sprinkled in that I didn't even notice until just now in hindsight.

Words to the Characters:

Anna: You seriously didn't see that coming?

Trev: Oh my goodness, I did not see that coming.

Sam and Others: I can't talk to you, it's lunch time and I've got burgers.

Okay, hopefully I'll see you later today, but don't blame me if the crazy human-animals in the book I'm devouring now attack me before I can get to the next post, which will be about angels.

Xxxxxx X. Xxxxxx
Anonymous Book Reviewer.

P.S. Dear Cousin, if you want me to review that book, all you have to do is comment!

Happy Bach's Birthday!

Hey world! Me again, back when I said I'd be for the second time in recent memory! I thought tea time would be an excellent time to review this next book in my Sci-fi Series. Typing is a good way to spend the moments while your herbal blend is cooling, perhaps with a Nutella break somewhere around...Hmm...Now?

So, now that I have my Nutella, I can tell you that the book I'm reviewing today is called Pandemonium my Lauren Oliver, and it is book two in the Delirium trilogy. I actually reviewed book one only...what? Four, five books ago? I can't remember, but it was the library trip before this one. I don't think my library has book three yet, though, so who knows when I'll be reviewing it? The Amazon link is right here, if you want a better summary than what is to come, or maybe you even want to buy it. I haven't tested the audible because I don't feel like putting my headphones on right now, so you're on your own with that one.

Summaryish: You know the drill, no reading this paragraph if you haven't read the first book in the trilogy, yet. After escaping from her city alone, Lena struggles to find her way out in the Wilds. As she fights for survival, joins the resistance, and tries to forget about her lost love, all of her efforts seem to be inexplicably leading her to a fate she never imagined possible. I sounded like a jacket flap there for a second, didn't I?

Review: Much better. If you read my review on the first one, you'll know that I didn't like the molasses beginning. Luckily, there was no pesky backstory to lay down, and the action started right away! I loved the way it was split between "then" and "now", although I do wish there were chapter numbers to help me keep track of where I am and where I'm going. Also, the book was much better without those chapter beginning quotes because, while they are interesting to read, they definitely stop the action, and in a book like this, it's best not to catch your breath. There were satisfying twists and turns, dissatisfying unsolved mysteries, and great plot line that keeps you on your toes. It's much much better than the first book, so if you've  read that and aren't sure you want to finish the series, you might want to give it a second chance.

Words to the Characters:

Lena: What did I tell you? I was right! There was also this thing I wanted to tell you about believing and dead bodies...but that could give away something.

Julian: Forgive me, I am so sorry for this but...Do you like to move it move it? *immature snicker* (Come on, we were all thinking it.)

Yeah! I did it! I'm not making any more promises though, except that the next book has to do with genetic alterations! Woo!

Xxxxxx X. Xxxxxx
Anonymous Book Reviewer.

Is It Me...Or Does This Sound A Little Like Asylum?

Hey world! So here I am for the second time in a row, ready to review a book and hopefully save the world from book withdrawal. But anyways, my book list is nice and long right now, but I could always use a new request. (Mostly I just feel special when I get comments.) So if you're thinking about something, but don't want to waste your time on an incompatible book or author, or just want someone to talk to about an awesome book (I know I'm dying to complain about Five and what happened to Eight and poor Marina with SOMEONE! but I'm not really a forum kind of person). Yeah. That's all I have to say about that.

So, just because I'm on a Pendragon hiatus doesn't mean I can't read something by DJ MacHale, and that's why I picked up Sylo a library visit ago. It's book one in the Sylo Chronicles. Doesn't the word 'chronicles" just give you absolute shivers? You know what else is worth at least a tingle? An Amazon link.

Summaryish: While being the forth installment of my Sci-fi Series, this book is not set in the future, but instead on a tiny island off the coast of Maine. On this island is where Tucker lives peacefully, doing whatever it is he does...until of course his world is flipped upside down when a branch of the US military, SYLO, invades and puts the whole island under quarantine. They tell everyone that there is a strange virus that must not be sent back to the mainland. But Tucker knows better. He's been offered the strange and powerful Ruby, and he knows what SYLO is really after. Or does he?

Review: This was amazing. I have high expectations when it comes to DJ MacHale, and he most certainly did not let me down. This is a grip-the-cover-tear-the-pages-a-little-turning-them-too-fast kind of book. With suspense, action, and mystery, it's almost impossible to put down. The only issue is that something about the tone is really easy to tune out. I was reading, and I knew what I was reading, but the words on the page weren't my only thoughts when I was reading it, like it should be with a fabulous book. My every waking moment was not consumed with thoughts of Tori and Tucker and Ruby and Sylo, but it was still a fantastic read!

Words to the Characters:

Tucker: I'm just saying...you don't just take something from a stranger. Snow White learned it the hard way...and now so have you.

Quinn: I wish I could say what I want to say, but I can't because it would be a spoiler.

Kent: This is so crazy. I've read lots of books, and Kent is generally the bullies' name. Weird.

Okay, that shall be it for today, and hopefully I'll finish up tomorrow.

Xxxxxx X. Xxxxxx
Anonymous Book Reviewer.

Don't Do This, You'll Go Into Debt.

Hey world! I am so so so bad. I'm up to four books, now, and I've already returned three of them. Maybe I'll have a blog blitz today and just review review review. It's probably the best idea since I'm between books. But it will also be okay if I don't, because I've got a 900+ pager coming up, and if I'm not caught up by then, I can just review a bunch then. But I'll probably be behind by then, so I'll just review as much as I can today.

So, the third book in my Sci-fi Series is called Swipe by Evan Angler, it is book one in the Swipe Series, which has four books now (I think) but maybe more are being written, I don't really know. I see nothing about "thrilling conclusion" on Mr. Angler's website. But I don't think stories ever really end. The chronicler just stops telling them. Anyways, would you like an Amazon link?

Summaryish: In a future world (of course, it's the Sci-fi Series), in order to be a member of society, to buy things, get a job and stuff, you have to get the Mark. But when Logan Langly's sister doesn't return from her Marking, Logan becomes suspicious, and very very paranoid. And now, five years later, it's time for him to get his Mark. But there's a secret group of people known as the Dust shadowing his every move, with good or bad intentions, he doesn't know. With the help of his new friend, he works to discover the Dust's secret and the secret of the Mark, too. 

Review: I was mostly excited about reading this book, and for the most part I wasn't disappointed. It's really well-written, with secrets, mysteries, and danger around every corner - or page, I guess. But, the beginning was really slow, and I was bored through a lot of the book. But, it's just the beginning of the series, and all that backstory had to be taken care of. At the ending, when all paths had been properly foreshadowed, and mysteries set down in a net fit to trap you, it picked up, and things got quicker, more intense, and all around better. In a series as long as this one is, it's normal for the first books to be a little slower, and if you want to read a good story, you've got to sit through and appreciate the ground work. And now that I have, I'm looking forward to the next books in the series. I can tell this series is going to be a winner.

Words to the Characters:

Logan: Don't worry, I'm paranoid too, and I don't even have a valid reason.

Whatserfacesorryitsbeenawhile: I like how at first you were selfish, but in the end a true friend.

Okay, first of four DONE!

Xxxxxx X. Xxxxxx
Anonymous Book Reviewer.

I Thought It Meant, Like, Sparkly yet Mean, And I Guess It Kind of Does.

Hey world! Aren't you proud of me? I'm back to post again when I said I'd be! Woopdeedoo! And, you know, I felt so guilty yesterday that I forgot to tell you something very very important. That last book I reviewed? It started my first even blog series! The next several books I'm going to review are pure science fiction. We'll call it...Let's see...Sci-fi Series. Not very original, but it is alliterative. Now, let's get started on installment number two.

So, some time around last week maybe I finished a book called Crewel by Gennifer Albin. It's her first book, and it's also the first book of what I believe is the Crewel World trilogy, in which there are so far two books, and the last one will be coming out in October, near my blog birthday. I'm listening to the audible sample now on Amazon, and it's okay. The reader should inflect different words though. At least, that's how I feel. 

Summaryish: It wouldn't be very good science fiction if it weren't the future, now would it? And in this future, young girls wait in anticipation for their tests to find out if they're Spinsters or not, which means that they can weave time with matter. But Adelice is different, she's been training to fail at these tests, so she isn't taken to the Conventry, away from her family and everything she knows and loves. But then she slips up. And they come to get her.

Review: From the very beginning - I was hooked. And I stayed that way throughout the whole book. I was actually surprised about this because nothing really ever seemed to be happening...And yet my whole attention was still riveted. Ms. Albin is very skilled at pacing and plotting. There's just one thing...sometimes how I perceived the characters to be and what they say doesn't always match up. An odd complaint, and a very weak one, I know, but it was the only thing I could think of to complain about. It's a fabulous book, especially for fans of those world behind the world books. I enjoyed it a lot, and I think you will too.

Words to the Characters:

Adelice: Really? I figured that out on page 234. 

Jost: J-aw-st, or J-oh-st? Also, that was one thing I didn't see coming.

Erik: Why don't you two get along? Was there a falling out that I missed?

Okay, that's it for this post, and now I feel like reading. Join me next time for something reminiscent of credit cards.

Xxxxxx X. Xxxxxx
Anonymous Book Reviewer.

In....Out....Heee...Hooo.

Hey world!!! I HAVE AN EXCUSE THIS TIME! It's a very bad one. But it is indeed an excuse. I did the worst thing a behind blogger can possibly do....I started a puzzle. I finished it. It was a thousand pieces, and it was special because there was no picture on the box telling me what it looked like. Let's see...I think it took me about three days, since I finished it yesterday. The bad news is, I now have four books to review. I'll review at least one of them today, but I'm not sure about the other three considering I'm in the middle of writing a short story. I'm pretty proud of it so far, so I can't stop now. 

So, I'm ashamed of how long ago I finished this book called Breathe by...Oh wait, I can't remember the author now...Sarah Crossan! It's book one in the Breathe series. I'm not sure how long the series is, though, because so far only book one and two are out. There is for certain an Amazon link, though. The question is, where? Hmmm...Better get looking! Actually, keep reading.

Summaryish: In a future world where the oxygen in the atmosphere has been depleted from 21% to about 4-6%, everyone is living in domes. Or, are they? What if I told you there was a resistance learning how to breathe the deprived air, and maybe growing plants, too. And what if I told you that a rich kid and two not-so-rich kids go on a camping trip, one without plans to come back. The two other people have their own purposes for being out in the real un-domed world, but they're paths are about to become more intertwined than they ever planned on. 

Review: This book is okay. The beginning is a little mleh, and I didn't really make friends with all the moody teenage characters, but that was only the beginning. Later in the book, things start to speed up...and they certainly don't slow down. The whole dome thing is a little clichéd, but I love dome books, and this one has a fresh spin on the usual. Looking at the whole, I'd give it around a B-, but looking at just the bang-pow-woopdee-doo ending, it gets a solid A. Not an A minus or plus, just an A.I wouldn't suggest an impatient person reading this (unless you're a really fast reader, and this book is only a one-dayer anyway.), but if you can get past the not so much slow as boring beginning, then the ending will be worth it.

Words to the Characters: 

Quinn: I thought you were a girl at first! Sorry!

Bea: You're not what I thought you were at first. In fact, I think you're my favorite because of the way you treat people like people.

Alina: I think someone needs to be a little happier!! (It's you, by the way.) Seriously, you depress me.

Okay, I might come back tomorrow, but I've probably already lost all of your trust by now. Anyways, whenever I do come back, it will be with a better review.

Xxxxxx X. Xxxxxx
Anonymous Book Reviewer.

Quillan Is The New Theme Park.

Hey world! I seem to be stuck at having three books to review, but have no fear! A blog marathon is here! At least, I'm going to attempt one. I might not make it, there are a lot of shiny things around me. But I will try. I realize that you may be getting the wrong impression with all this "getting behind on my blogging." But I love my blog! There's no doubt about that! But the thing is, I love reading more, and that's generally why I always forget to review books, I'm already stuck in the next one! I've discovered that the trick is to just sit down and review between books, which is what I am right now. In fact, between books is where I get most of life done. But this paragraph is getting too lengthy.

So, not too long ago I finished this book called The Quillan Games by D.J. MacHale. This is book seven of ten in the Pendragon series. I've reviewed the previous six already, but this might be my last for a while, because the person with whom I am reading this series is behind. But I'm going to read to this person a lot this week because I absolutely need the next book. More on that later. I'm listening to the sample of the audible on Amazon, the link to which is here, and Saint Dane's voice is so weird...Definitely not what I imagined. Nice evil cackle, though. 

Summaryish: Bobby is off to Quillan, a weird and amusing territory where everyone seems miserable in their bleak colorless lives monopolized by a company. Except for the games. The deadly games where the only way to win is to beat your opponent by killing him. And Bobby, quite against his will, is sucked into the games where he is forced to risk his life trying to find the turning point of Quillan and push it in the right direction. But the stakes are higher for him, because he's been promised the knowledge of the secret of the Travelers.

Review: Best. Pendragon. Ever. Way better than a Eelong, better even  than Veelox. I love the way everything, even things I've forgotten, are all coming together. What started as one story at a time is converging (haha) into one big entwined story of whoa! And it's not slowing down for anything. In fact, it's getting faster and more intense with each passing page. The suspense is simply killing me. There's only three territories left! Ahh!

Words to the Characters:

Bobby: So, now you're introducing yourself as Pendragon, not Bobby. I think that's kind of funny. I don't introduce myself as Xxxxxx, I call myself Xxxxxx, and occasionally Xxxxx. 

Nevva: 

(I'm not speaking to her)

Okay, that seems to be all that's going to happen in this post, and my fingers are getting all tired...so...See you tomorrow?

Xxxxxx X. Xxxxxx
Anonymous Book Reviewer. 

I Thought This Had To Do With Insanity.

Hey world! So I finished another book and was feeling a bit guilty, so I'm here again to review another book! Maybe, just maybe, I'll review two! Or maybe not, because that way I can review more books tomorrow when I will most likely have nothing to do...Actually, I have nothing to do today, so who knows what will happen! I might as well get started, before I forget what I'm reviewing.

So, around a week ago, I finished this book called Delirium by Lauren Oliver. It is book one in the Delirium Trilogy, and all three books are already out. There's also three short stories, published digitally and as a print compilation. It's a pretty good Audible, too, with a nice expressive narrator. And how do I know this? Well, there's a sample on Amazon. What's that? You want a link? Okay, I'd be happy to give you one. Whoa, I just sounded just like a little kid's TV show. 

Summaryish: In this future world, because, you know, of course it's the future, what else would I be reading? In this future, people have decided that love is a disease. And, just ninety days before the procedure that would cure her of this terrible plague, Lena meets a boy. And of course, she falls in love. Wow. That's a really short paragraph. I wish I could make it longer somehow, but what would the point of rambling on and on about nothing be?

Review: At first I didn't like it. It was just blah blah blah. No societies crumbled, there were no epic duels, just life and illegal parties. But, after half the book and a whole nother book, things picked up, and I noticed some cracks in the structure of the fragile future world, and I was happy. In fact, you could say that by the end I was quite enthralled. And now that all that beginning monologue-backstory stuff is out of the way, the rest of the series will be quite pleasurable, and I'm sure you'd like to read it if you can bear the limping beginning.

Words to the Characters:

Alex: Very chivalrous...You have my approval.

Lena: (You could do so much better.) (I'm kidding, I just thought it would be funny if I said that.)

Hana: Have you noticed that a lot of people have four letter names? Crazy. 

Okay, another book bites the dust! Oh, goodness, that was a gruesome image...Libraries and bookstore and bookmarks and comfy chairs...Okay, it's gone. Have a lovely day and join me next time for an OH MY GOSH moment.

Xxxxxx X. Xxxxxx
Anonymous Book Reviewer.

There's Been A Slight Change In Plans.

Hey world! I know, I know, it's been over a week, or somewhere along those lines. And I have no excuse. I was just reading far too much this week. In fact, I have three books to review. But, do you remember my last post, where I said that the next book was something I hoped it wasn't turning into? Well, that's not this book. I've broken the rules. I've thrown the sacred rule book right under the trolley and said goodbye trolley people like a good blogging monarch ought. I did the unthinkable...Right in the middle of a book, I started a different one.

So, what I did not finish a while ago was what I started a while ago, what I did finish was The Great Gatsby by F. Scott Fitzgerald, who died sometime in the 30s or 40s and does not have a website. This small book of 180 pages, less than 50,000 words, is considered a classic, and is not a series. It is, however, available on Amazon, the link to which should be around here somewhere, but considering the fact I have three books to review, I think you already know I'm a forgetful person. Oh, one more thing: This book doesn't have a movie. It has four! Two in black and white, and two in color.

Summaryish: Nick Carroway recently moved from frosty Minnesota to the east coast. Coincidentally, he rents the house right next to the mansion of Jay Gatsby - the mysterious millionaire who throws lavish and wild-crazy parties pretty much every weekend. Tons of people attend this event, but not the person Gatsby wants to come...which is where Nick comes in. He can convince this person to come. But, it's likely that instead of all his dreams coming true, Gatsby's life is about to come crashing down.

Review: This book was a lot better than I thought it would be! I thought I would get lost in the florid language, or the prettiness of the sentences would make the book too slow, too hard to keep track of. But, it was actually waaaayyyy good. Exposition and action are well balanced, and the mystery mixed in doesn't hurt anything. All in all, it's a great read. Oh my goodness, my headphones were lopsided. They're better now. Anyways, while not always fast, the double-time ending totally makes up for it. Plus, there's a lot of lessons to be learned here that have nothing to do with how to survive an alien invasion like most of the book I read.

Words to the Characters:

Jay: My advice to you is that there's a time for everything; and in your case, the thing for which it is time is letting go. As Nick points out, you can't relive the past.

Nick: Okay, I really want to know about the other time...

Jordan: I'm upset that Nick tried to justify you. I get the whole flapper thing, but some things you do are just plain bad.

Daisy: Someone needs to learn what love is...

I'm terribly thirsty, and I can't promise I'll return to my computer after quenching that desire, so just stay tuned, I'll probably be back tomorrow.

Xxxxxx X. Xxxxxx
Anonymous Book Reviewer.